Okay, so recently I broke my wrist, specifically my dominant wrist.
My mom has never really believed in doctors. I do not know the exact term for it, but she constantly says that doctors only want to take your money. At the same time, she believes in vaccines and basic medicine, so she is not completely anti healthcare. She just genuinely believes that I could not have seriously injured myself.
Her response every time was things like, “You are so young,” “You are very strong,” and that it was “probably just a sprain.” Because of this, she refused to believe that my wrist could actually be broken.
The issue is that she is the only person who can take me to the hospital. I do not know how to drive yet, and the hospital is about 20 minutes away by car. Walking there would take close to an hour. For over 20 days, I kept asking her, “Can we please go get this checked out?” I also involved my dad, but he usually listens to my mom since she is the main authority figure in our house.
After weeks of being ignored, I gave up. I ended up walking to the hospital on my own and using my own savings from my part time job to get an X ray done. The X ray showed that my wrist was actually broken, and the doctor told me that it had gotten worse because it had gone untreated for so long.
I then used all of my own money, around 200 to 400 dollars, to get it treated and fixed. After that, I went back home.
When my mom saw my wrist, she asked, “What is that?” I explained everything to her, including the fact that the doctors said it would have been much easier to treat if I had come in earlier. Instead of understanding, she got really angry and said, “I did not consent to this. Let us go get a refund.”
I tried to explain that refunds do not work like that, especially since my wrist was actually broken. She kept yelling at me and saying that it was “a waste of money.” I also told her that the money came from my own job, and that it would have cost even more if I had continued using my wrist without treatment.
Now I cannot even work properly because it is my dominant wrist, and I have been stuck at home for days. The situation at home has gotten much worse, and there is a lot of tension.
So, AITA for going behind my mom’s back to get medical treatment and spending my own money, or, as she puts it, for “breaking my wrist”?
Edit: something I’d like to mention is that my mum has taken me to the hospital when I fractured my ankle (about twice) but a situation that happened was that on the first time we went the doctor said I needed a cast (despite the fact it was my toe that broke) and when we went to get it removed another doctor said that there was no use putting the cast since it would’ve healed with only a bandage around it so I think she has stopped believing them ever since
NTA. I have no idea where you are from, or what your age is, but there might be some laws broken. If you are a minor in the USA it is illegal to withhold medical care from a child. If you are an adult, you have the ability to have it looked at and treated, but your mother refusing to give you a ride, makes her a complete and total AH.
Most likely your mother is over reacting because she was obviously and completely wrong in this situation. I do however worry about other patterns of neglect / abuse she may be showing.
NTA and you know this.
This is not normal. Your mom is not normal. You should not involve her in your medical issues. You are an adult and she obviously has issues.
OP may not be in the US. There’s no way in the US a kid goes to the hospital and pays cash and doesn’t get a CPS call and in the US, no hospital would have you pay cash up front for xrays if you’re an adult. Emergency medicine is treat now, everything else later. It also does not only cost $400 to treat a broken wrist.
OP isn’t in America so no proof they aren’t a teenager.
She’s clarified she’s [not a minor](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1pr72qy/comment/nv017oh/?context=3), and a previous post [states she’s 29.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA_Relationships/comments/1pn7p3h/aita_for_not_watching_shows_for_the_plot/)
You are NTA. Parents regardless of their beliefs need to get their kids care when needed. Untreated fractures can set badly and this could cause chronic issues.
If you’re under 18 you need to call cps.
According to a post from 4 days ago she is 29 years old.
Then she needs to leave home. I know, some people can’t afford too- but OP needs to start making plans. She needs to save up (in a place her parents can’t access). She needs to get her documents in order. She needs to change her perception of her life- because honestly, she can’t afford to stay either. Sooner or later she is going to loose something much more than what she already has, be that her life, her dignity, or her sanity.
Update: I am not a minor but I am still not allowed to drive
How is 29yo not allowed to drive?
Many countries require significant driving lessons (thousands of dollars worth) or purchasing a car is just not practical.
They either don’t have a driver’s license or they have a medical condition that prevents them from driving.
This is extremely concerning and a sign of abuse. The fact that your wrist WAS broken and she still blames you is a massive red flag. I imagine there are a lot of other stories about your life that would horrify me to hear.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Do you have another family member you can talk to about this? A grandparent, aunt or uncle? I’m guessing you don’t live in the west given the amount of money involved, does your country have a good child protection system? How old are you?
From your multiple AITA posts over the last week:
-you’re 29
-your boyfriend doesn’t like that you can immediately guess the plot of a tv show/movie and then you lose interest (no mention of your wrist)
-your friends are annoyed that you were sad on a trip you paid $50,000 to go on (no mention of your wrist)
-you only have a part time job but can pay for the above holiday
-you’re choosing between two friend groups
-you had no choice but to wait nearly three weeks and then walk an hour to the hospital
Either these posts are fictional and you’re writing them purely for attention, or you have no common sense. If you have a boyfriend, two friend groups, and can afford a $50,000 holiday, then there is someone who can drive you to hospital or you can pay for a taxi.