Long story.
I (female, 23) am an intern and, recently, I had problems with a security guard at my workplace (35). She used to make very harsh jokes about the way I act. For a long time, I brushed it off and tried to ignore it, but it reached a point where I had an anxiety attack at work. At that moment, I told my coordinator (50) what was happening, and I ended up being placed on leave for a period of time.
This didn’t happen only because of that, but also due to other situations involving this same guard: she almost got fired, and after that the atmosphere at the internship became very bad for me.
Many people started to believe that I was to blame for speaking up and that I should have kept quiet, even though, at the moment of the crisis, my coordinator arrived, noticed that I wasn’t well, and tried to understand what had made me feel that way.
In addition, other people I considered sort-of friends showed that they didn’t care about me and even twisted some information, making me look like the asshole, as if I had faked the anxiety attack.
Another part of this story is that I had been seeing another guard for some time. At one point, other guards told him to be careful with me, saying that I might tell something to my supervisor. That honestly doesn’t make sense, since I keep a lot of wrong things I see them doing to myself and have never told anyone.
Anyway, I felt very bad about this situation, to the point of considering quitting because I couldn’t handle the pressure and the atmosphere there anymore, even though I really like the internship.
Am I the asshole for having talked to my coordinator about what caused my anxiety attack, even knowing that this could cause problems for the rest of the staff? And also, am I wrong for thinking it’s unfair that others are spreading the idea that they need to be careful around me?
NTA, but your coworkers sound awful for assuming you “faked” an anxiety attack. It’s good that you communicated with your coordinator.
NTA. You aren’t responsible for the consequences of someone else’s harassment, and an anxiety attack is a medical response, not a choice. It is unfair for coworkers to blame you for being honest about a toxic situation that your coordinator proactively asked about.
YTA when everyone around you has a problem it’s not them it is most likely you.
Tbh there’s a LOT missing from this story. Atp I’m inclined to agree with you. What altercation between OP and the other security guard “almost caused the guard to get fired”? What specifically was the guard complaining about wrt OP’s attitude? Did people start turning against OP after she “spoke up about the panic attack”, or was it earlier, after she almost got another person fired somehow, and she just didn’t notice it until after the panic attack? It COULD be a case of a cliquey workplace trying to push out the new hire, but it could just as easily be that OP is the one causing problems.
spoken by a shepherd’s sheep
I don’t think you are wrong, you called out the bullying/ & harnessing behaviour which affected your health.
I will bet you are not the only one that this is happening to.
I would go in and do my internship while keeping an eye out for a transfer in the future. Meanwhile keep a log of dates and times of what she says or does in case you need evidence. Don’t talk about her to anyone and if people tell you things then thank them and write it into your log. Don’t talk about anyone else. Play dumb and just pay attention to what’s going on. If you see her saying or doing something to someone else record that too. If you ever leave there to move on to somewhere else, you can then tell them exactly what had been going on in your exit interview. These people cause so much stress and damage but you just might end up being the Karma that pays her a visit by letting everyone know in the end of how she treated you and others.
INFO: what about “the way you act” was the guard joking about? What “other situation” in the past wound up with the same security guard almost getting fired?
You’ve done nothing wrong and everyone deserves to feel safe and supported. Concentrate on work and forget about friendships with coworkers. They are just that, coworkers not friends. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have friendly relationships but always remember, they are not real friends.