My (35f) boyfriend’s (28m) mom (47f) bought matching outfits for him and our son (2 months) and wants them to come over to her house to take pictures with his siblings. I don’t know why but this made me upset and idk if it’s because I’m postpartum but it just feels inappropriate since her and I don’t like each other. He said it’s just a thing him and his siblings do but idk what’s your guys’ opinion would you be upset?
Edit: the picture would apparently just be him his sisters and brother and our son in matching outfits and it’s been a “tradition” for about 3 years now I guess…
NTA – If it’s just siblings then your baby doesn’t need to be there for pics either.
If your baby needs to be somewhere, the mom needs to be there too.
Yep. Baby can’t go if mom can’t go or be in photos
NTA It’s not just a siblings thing. Your babies in it too it seems? And herself? Seems like a family thing to me
NTA. It seems exclusionary since she is including your son. If it’s a sibling thing, your son doesn’t need to be included.
NTA don’t let the baby be in the photos. If you’re not good enough for their photos, the baby, with your DNA, mustn’t be good enough either
Yeah, I’m petty. But I did say similar things to my late husbands family
NTA…BUT, I kinda get bf moms perspective. I’ve spent enough time on the photoshop requests Reddit where girlfriends and boyfriends and ex spouses are requested to be deleted from photos. Maybe she’s not convinced you’ll all be together down the road.
I think she could’ve been better about it and you have a right to feel how you do, just giving a perspective.
NTA
Send your boyfriend to his mom’s house without the baby. If you’re not good enough for her, don’t let her use your baby as a prop.
Soft YTA
If it’s just his siblings and not the siblings’ significant others then there really no reason to think of it being that deep. And she definitely excited about the grandbaby so makes sense to want the baby in the picture too. Sounds like a cute picture for her to have. It’s okay to be upset and could be the added hormones but she just wants a picture of her kids (which you said is something they do so ) and new grandbaby. Now if the siblings’ significant others are in the picture then you wouldn’t be the ahole
Sometimes I like to get pictures of just my kids.
I kind of agree with you, but at the same time it’s weird to me to include the baby but not the mum. There should have been a matching sweater for OP too and a second photo for everyone in the family.
I personally would feel excluded in that situation. Family traditions need to evolve a bit as the family grows.
INFO: are the partners of the siblings in the photos?
YTA. If you didn’t like this woman to the extent you don’t want your boyfriend and the child you share with himto go to his mother’s house, then you should have broken up with your boyfriend and not had a baby with him. That’s his child and she’s his mother, its ridiculous to try and gatekeep the baby’s father from doing a completely harmless activity with his child.
Look at it this way, its probably a solid handful of hours where you are home alone with no baby responsibilities – take a bubble bath, watch a rom-com and enjoy a few peaceful hours.
You’re only 12 years younger than his mom. This may be part of why you don’t like each other. If she needs a picture of her kids with their kids in matching outfits, who cares. As long as you are welcome at family functions, holidays etc let it go. You’ve got to see how weird it is wanting adult children in matching outfits to begin with.
YTA, no one else’s partner is in the picture either so this isn’t about you being singled out and this isn’t even the first year of it happening……. if it was that’d be different. Why would you want be involved when you don’t like her anyway? You don’t mention why you don’t like the mom but assuming she’s not abusive, crazy, etc it’s in the best interest of your son to get to have a relationship with his paternal side of the family too, Dad can take care of baby for the few hours it takes to do sibling photos.