Full story (long sorry): A month or two ago I was walking alone in a forest I regularly walk in and I passed a jogger who had a big long haired dog (don’t ask what sort of dog, I know nothing about dogs) with her, the dog was running in front of her and had just come out of a pond and been running through mud. It wasn’t raining and the paths are quite well made so I wasn’t wearing waterproofs and was only in fabric trainers
The dog bounded straight towards me (100 yds-ish ahead of it’s owner) and leaped up at me, it was obviously not aggressive, just over excited and I’m not scared of dogs or anything, but it left me soaked in mud and water and with cold wet feet for the rest of the walk, and needing to wash my coat, jumper, pants and shoes.
The lady made no attempt to call it off me until she reached me, then she called it and it ran to her and she gave it a treat and said ‘good boy’, while I fully understand that she was rewarding the dog for coming when called, it did appear like she was rewarding it for making me wet and muddy
She didn’t say a word and just turned to walk away, so I said after her "saying sorry would be nice" – those are the only words I ever said to her – she then went on to start shouting, it was a while ago so I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was along the lines of "It’s not my fault my dog took a liking to you, why should I say sorry? your in a forest where people walk dogs so if you don’t like dogs, don’t f###ing come here"
I just walked away. I also don’t mind dogs, and if she’d been apologetic I would have just passed it off as unlucky and probably just said ‘no worries’, this sort of stuff has happened to me plenty of times before
Its a walk I do pretty regularly, and now every time I pass her she mutters insults under her breath, or gives me the finger, I just ignore this but I do dread meeting her because it’s awkward as hell, she even swore at me when I was walking with my mother so I had to explain this whole thing to her
so AITA for thinking she should have said sorry? because she’s right that it wasn’t her fault, but she could have called the dog back much sooner than she did, and apologising for accidents is generally just the polite thing to do, this whole thing puzzles me, and I have debated saying I’m sorry that I said what I said just to see if she stops cursing at me every time I pass her
\- edited for an auto-correct word error
You should totally escalate this. Take a photo of her giving you the finger, have it made into a tshirt and start wearing it on your walks.
It will simultaneously make her look cray and make you look like you don’t give a F.
It’s not worth it
don’t worry, funny as it is, I wont do that, mainly because it would def make the situation worse, and there’s probably legal issues with using photo’s of people without they’re permission
Yup, there’s also the chance that she could see it as harassment. It is a funny idea though
I wasn’t serious. It’s fun to imagine though.
Ah, sorry. I struggle with reading other’s tone in writing
NTA that dog walker seems quite rude. The walker should have control over the dog at all times and especially if the dog is that excitable, even if they are friendly, other dogs/people may not be so it’s not a good idea to let them of lead if they are like that.
Honestly I would see if you could complain to the owner/ dog walking company if you can find that info out. They have no reason to continue being so rude to you esp since they didn’t apologise the first time! Definitely try and report them!
No she’s just a shity person
NTA. Where I am from there are leash laws and owners are required by law to be in control of their dogs. If she regularly walks her dog there then I would check with local animal control or police as to how to proceed. If it is not a recognized off leash area then you have recourse to change future outcomes.
thinking on this, if she keeps on randomly swearing at me I’ll ask the park rangers about it, she’s regular so they might know who she is/be able to have a word with her
NTA — you shouldn’t walk up to dogs you don’t know and pet them, nor should dogs run up to people they don’t know and leap up on them. But in the latter case, they’re dogs and can’t be expected to know that. It’s on their handlers to either train them or manage them, and she did neither. She’s the clear asshole in this encounter and every subsequent encounter.
NTA from start to finish.
This woman is rude and irresponsible.
That said, you don’t want to let her take up mental or emotional space. Nor do you want to limit your life to avoid her.
I confess I like the suggestion of another commenter to take a picture of her giving you the middle finger and then wear a t-shirt with that picture on it when you take those walks! But – despite a certain petty satisfaction – that response will probably just give her more mental/emotional real estate in your life.
So, I think you cement in your own mind and heart that you KNOW she was and is both rude and wrong and that you did absolutely nothing wrong, nothing to feel bad about. Then when you encounter her on your walks, you can – depending upon what feels best for you – either (1) not really ‘see’ her; she’s just an insignificant bit of background noise you don’t focus on as you pass, (2) meet her gaze with a confident, unapologetic, cold gaze back, or (3) impart a confident, cheerful ‘Good morning/afternoon!’ as you pass her.
I’m more likely to opt for either (1) or (2). My husband has used (3) very effectively. The point of all of them is that she and her rudeness are insignificant in your life and have no impact on your confidence and positiveness.
NTA
who cares about her being sorry – she needs to pay for dry cleaning.