AITA I F 30 have been dating my Bf 40 for 2 1/2 years and we share 1 child together. From the get go to this relationship his son (from previous relationship) has had the most awful behavior I’ve ever seen with a child. I basically kept my nose out of it at the beginning.
Fast forward our daughter is born and I was told I should be a SAHM because that would work better for our situation. Quickly it turned into whenever his ex didn’t want to have their child they have together it was something that was shoved on me to deal with as I was navigating post partum alone. I am never asked if I have anything planned o am just told that that’s what I’m doing. I should mention his ex and I do not have a good relationship with eachother and she refuses to co parent with me even though I’m the one watching their child. Every single break I have been the one taking care of his other child and I have voiced on numerous occasions how extremely stressful it is for me dealing with a child with these extreme behavioral issues.
I have suggested that this child needed therapy and all of my concerns have fallen on deaf ears. Winter break is coming up and I was once again told that I was going to have him starting on Christmas. I simply stated that that didn’t work for me as my other child and myself have appointments and I have things scheduled. It turned into a huge fight that resulted in him asking me when I’ll be moving out. I don’t know if I’m the asshole here in this situation or not.
I should add that I have tried setting boundaries many times before stating that I don’t appreciate decisions being made for me and that always turns into an argument and I’ve been told that “I make the money so what I say goes”. Another thing to add is that 90% of the time the reason I found out after the fact is that his ex can’t have their kid because she’s going to raves and off doing party drugs. While I’m the sole provider for our shared child because he doesn’t want anything to do with the actual act of parenting. (I feel like this is a little all over the place so if there’s any need for clarification please let me know). So am I the asshole or is this something that’s normal in a blended family dynamic with a SAHM?
Nta.
Leave his ass and make sure you file for child support.
100%
NTA. But I am curious, how old is his other kid?
NTA, curious why you chose to have a child with this person knowing that his son was like this? Oofda
NTA. Time to start making the getaway plan. First thing, you should go get a room for a couple of days right now. This will take you out of the house and away from his child for the next couple of nights. While you’re away, start planning. Before you go, make a list of important documents that you will need for the separation. If you don’t have money to spend on a room, use his credit card. You aren’t hiding, you’re just making a point. Do you have someplace else to live? Do you have savings? Get your self together and make a plan.
Thank you guys for the validation. The gaslighting is going hard on this situation at home and I just felt like I was starting to lose my mind a little bit.
NTA. Sounds like you are convenient for him. He gets sex and a babysitter on demand. Dump him and move on.
Do you have somewhere you can go? If so, take your daufhter and leave. He doesn’t respect you, and he’s not on your side. If you can’t leave right now, start making a plan for when you can.
NTA – the answer to his question is today. I’m leaving today
I replied with something similar, I said after the holiday I’ll be gone
He asked you when you re moving out. Have some pride and move out.
You know the Redditor’s are all going to tell you to dump him? And guess what, they would be right.
This man has dumped his parental responsibilities for his son onto you. The boy’s mother has dumped her parental responsibility onto to you. The only time they push back at you is when you suggest therapy for the boy.
You have already worked out that he is giving you no support for his daughter and using the “I make the money, so what I say goes”. You should go out that door and don’t look back.
NTA if you leave. YWBTAH if you stay.
NTA. I am sorry you are living through this. He asked you when you are moving out. Take him seriously, gather all your important documents and go as soon as you’re ready. He does not parent, he gives you money and housing and tries to control you through it. That is not love and partnership, that is convenience.
It’ll be hard for a while, but you’ll be better off long term. And your child will not be learning what he can do from your husband’s other child or how to treat a woman in his life.
” It turned into a huge fight that resulted in him asking me when I’ll be moving out. ”
have you started packing?