We’re a working couple in our late 20s. Often come home late, around 7 PM, so we regularly dine out, like 2 times a week. Our country has hundreds of dishes, so we’re never out of options.
I prefer ordering familier items and try something new only when it’s looks too tempting. I’m a sensitive eater (not picky) as I’ve strong sensory sensitivity. I get nauseous easily if I eat or smell something I don’t like.
My wife is totally opposite. Half of the times, she tries something new and orders things just by reading their names. Mostly, she doesn’t even know how her order looks like.
And mostly, the food she tries isn’t good as our comfort food. So after 2-4 bites, she asks me to split and share each other’s food. I always hesitate doing that due to my different food habits as mentioned above.
She’s aware of my nature but asks me to share anyways. It’s been 3 times in a row, the food she ordered came out totally bad and I had to give up on half of my food to compensate it, as usual.
Being fed up, recently I clearly told her that I won’t be sharing food from now and whatever she orders, it’s all upto her even if it doesn’t come out good. She agreed in a low voice.
Now yesterday, the same thing happened again and she casually made the same gesture of sharing food. I said no, mentioning our recent talk about it. She had to finish it all, it spoiled her mood and got passive agressive the rest of the evening AITA
Your wife sounds like a right royal pain.
She’s behaving like a toddler honestly! She AGREED to this!!
That was my thought reading this, it sounds like a child’s behaviour. And if it was a child doing this, as the parent you’d have to teach them better behaviour and the consequences of those actions. An adult shouldn’t have to be taught. She’s wasting food and money and not learning from her mistakes.
NTA. She’s an adult, and not behaving like one. Being passive aggressive about it is also very childish. She’s not respecting you or caring for your feelings and needs anywhere near as close to as she’s expecting you to do for her.
NTA. I’d be super annoyed by that. Tell her you can only split if you order two dishes you both like or she can order a backup one (and pay for it herself) if she needs to try something new every time.
“…and pay for it herself.”
I’ve never understood this mentality in married couples. Are you not planning on being together until you die? Why divide assets like that? It’s *our* house, *our* bank account, *our* future wants and needs. If my wife told me I had to pay for something myself, I’d just say “ok”, chuckle to myself and then use the debit card for our *joint* account.
My wife was a stay at home mom for a while.
One day she said, “i want to tell you that I really appreciate that you never said or implied anything about the money you earned being ‘yours’ and not ‘ours'” or words to that effect.
I feel bad for people who are contributing to a relationship in ways that don’t earn money but aren’t valued.
I know, right? My wife was a SAHM for 10 years. It was always *ours*.
My wife and I never blended finances to begin with, so the money she makes still goes to her account and my pay goes to mine. It’s never been an issue, and why go to all the hassle to create new accounts when things work just fine as is?
Nope. Not the asshole. Spouse and I have been married 15 years and don’t share food unless the other offers. And normally it’s along the lines of “Hey this is really good. Wanna try a bite?”
My spouse is the adventurous eater and I’m the comfort food eater. If it’s truly terrible they will just order something else. But mostly they tough it out and know better for next time.
NTA. sounds like a dumb situation.
Me and my husband like to split meals when we go out as we get to so rarely.
But it is always, Always a negotiation on what to get, so that we’re both happy.
If we can’t agree (hardly ever happens) then we each pick our own dish and share a dessert
NTA. You set a boundary, she agreed to it, then ignored it the next time because she assumed you’d cave. That’s not about food anymore, that’s about respecting what you already discussed. You’re not her backup meal plan
NTA. My husband is one who orders comfort food. I try new things (why have spaghetti at an Italian place when we can have it at home). The only thing is that even if I don’t like what I got, I eat it. I might not finish my plate but I don’t take from someone else. Please OP, stop sharing with her. Tell her she is an adult and as such, can deal with the consequences of ordering something new.
NTA. What a ridiculous waste of money. She might as well order nothing, you order two of what you get and she just eat that. Even little kids aren’t allowed to waste food and money like this.
Have you ever asked her why she’s so invested in this ridiculously wasteful habit that requires you to go partially hungry? Its very obvious she sees your food as the backup for when she orders poorly. And this may even be some goofy ‘test of caring/love’ that is, again, a huge waste of money and food.
You’re nicer than me. I’d get petty randomly to show her how ridiculous it is and order the same gross thing as her or something even weirder. She’ll probably go deer in headlights cause ‘uh oh, no backup’.