I (M25) married my wife(F24) 2 years ago and every Christmas her mother ~45 makes her and her siblings take pictures with Santa. I made it clear before we were married that I was not interested in joining in. After talking to my wife about it she said no one is really happy about it but her mother grew up in a very conservative family that did not have any celebrations during the holidays. They feel that this is a small price to pay to keep her happy and the alternatives aren’t really considered. After a fairly substantial fight last year I gave in but my family found out and the jokes are not going away. This year all the siblings are married or in long term relationships and the Santa photoshoot looms large. I have already said I won’t do it this year and said I won’t give into pressure. I’m new to the family and everybody but her hates this tradition AITA?
YTA. You won’t take a Santa picture with your wife’s family because your family makes jokes about it? (1) Who cares? (2) What is stopping you from being in on the joke? Sure, it’s funny. But it makes your wife happy. Happy wife, happy life.
YTA – Get over yourself and stop worrying about what the rest of your family thinks. Apparently they’re assholes, too.
Sound like an entire family (hers and yours) of YTA. It’s a picture and it makes mom happy, that should be enough reason.
So let me get this right. Yeah imo YTA.
so youre being an AH, to your wife and her family. Because your family are a bunch of assholes.
Well they raised your right. I feel bad for your wife. You knew about this prior to marriage. Probably made fun of her behind her back with your asshole family.
Now want to change because your family now made fun of you.
YTA
Having your photo taken costs you nothing, but a little bit of dignity. And, then, only if you choose to let it cost that.
Meanwhile, it’s an activity that can help you grow closer to your wife and get family.
When her mom passes on, these photos may become a thing of legend. Full family photos are rare, because people are busy and not everyone gets to be there. Suck it up, put your arm around your wife and enjoy a silly tradition.
It could be worse, the pics could be in costume.
“my family found out and the jokes are not going away”
What jokes? You took a photo with Santa? How funny can people possibly think that is. Like…what is the punchline? I don’t understand the jokes.
YTA. You’re a grown adult being made fun of by other grown adults about a family photo. What in the 1st grade is even happening here. Get over yourselves.
YTA
Stand up to your siblings and say you’re doing it because you love your wife
Decline to engage in any other questions or comments about it
Or, don’t tell your family. It’s not like it involves them.
YTA
One picture? Your MIL wants one picture and that’s too much?
Tell your family that, unlike them, you’re willing to suffer the indignity of pretending to care about others as a sacrifice that you’re man enough to handle.
Try holding your breath? Maybe crossing your fingers behind your back so that you know inside that you actually weren’t willing to be nice, it was a sham, and MIL will never know!
INFO: why do you not want to take a picture with Santa (outside of the fact that your family is bullying you and you’re allowing it)?
So your familu made fun of you participating in your wife’s family tradition? I’m sorry your family hurt your feelings.
YTA
YTA because this is a truly silly hill to die on with your MIL. You’re creating ill-will in that relationship for something that’s a tiny ask. You take the picture and it’s done. She’s not asking you to make it your profile picture or hand out copies at work. Just a family holiday picture. Do it, roll your eyes privately if you must, and move on.
I mean, fwiw, she sounds like a lady who’s trying to make up for a childhood without festive fun at the holidays, and if you all taking this picture does that for her, isn’t it a nice thing to do that costs you nothing?
YTA
What a Grinch you are. And you sound about 12 here.
Totally weird hill to die on, when it’s so harmless.
So knowing your MIL’s background, your family makes fun of you for providing her with pleasurable memories? Yeah, YTA, and so is your family.