Hi,
My (29F) sister (27F) has insecurity issues and hates taking photos/hates the way she looks in most pictures. I still insist on us taking photos together as I love her and want the memories and believe she will too someday. Plus, a lot of the time we are at events together where we are really dressed up, so I want good pictures (think family weddings, holidays, etc).
The issue is that sometimes there are pictures I really like that she is in (and doesn’t like of herself). I want to post the pictures!! Either because I look good or because they are group pictures with other people that I want to share.
I have started just posting them and refusing to take them down if she asks because I think its ridiculous for her to try and control what I post on my social media. My argument is that they are pictures of me and others (that she happens to be in) and therefore I have the right to post them, if she doesn’t like them I will remove the tag of her.
Her argument is they are photos she is in, and she has the right to request they not be shared publicly if she doesn’t like them. She also argues that because she knows a lot of people who I have on social media (i.e. people from our high school / when we were growing up, her friends who follow me, extended family, etc.), the pictures are still being seen by people she knows whether they are tagged or not. She also says that she tries to avoid being in the pictures, but since I or other people tell her to get in them, its not fair to then post them without her consent.
She recently asked that I take down a group photo she is in but I told her its not my problem that she doesn’t like the picture and that I have a right to post what I want. She is now not speaking to me because she things I am being selfish and inconsiderate for not respecting her desire not to be on social media.
AITAH for this or is she overstepping by trying to control what I am allowed to post and needs to deal with her insecurity?
YTA. If she tells you not to post picture of her or that have her in them (such as group pictures) do not post them. She has a right to control what images of her are shared / posted. You have no right to post images of her with out her express consent. You need to take down any pictures you have posted and apologize of the overstep.
YTA its basic social media etiquette that you dont post pictures without someone’s permission. Its a serious lack of respect that you think you can post whatever you want and thinking she should just deal.
Crop her out of the photos if you have to post it. Its not that hard.
YTA She doesn’t want to be on social media. Why is that so hard to respect? You can keep the photos in a private album. There’s no need to post them online.
YTA
YTA and quite honestly not just in your sister. Just know what you are doing is illegal by some laws
YTA
She doesn’t want you posting pics of her so…don’t do it. It’s that simple
YTA. You’re trampling all over her boundaries. The internet is forever, she’s not being unreasonable by not wanting a photo of her out there.
This isn’t that hard to resolve. Before you snap the photo, ask her if it’ll be ok to put it on your socials. If not, just take a second photo that doesn’t have her in it. Or as someone else suggested, put an emoji over her face before you post it.
It feels like you’re pushing her to have her photos online in an aggressive way, rather than you just feeling a bit inconvenienced that she’s in a photo you want to post. You’re being more controlling in this scenario than she is.
YTA. Massive, massive YTA. And I sincerely hope she stops taking pics with you, since you so clearly can’t be trusted. And if and when she chooses to have kids, she keeps them far away from you as well, since you seem to lack the ability to grasp social media privacy. Ick.
YTA 10 times over because of course you are. You’re posting pics of her online against her express consent.
You’re a terrible sister.
YTA. Do a second photo without her if you know she’s not going to like it.
YTA – “I still insist on us taking photos together as I love her and want the memories and believe she will too someday” You don’t want them for the memories or you’d be willing to not post and just have them for yourself. You want to look good on social media, and it slightly feels like you enjoy her feeling insecure about them….
YTA – there is a way to hide her face in them, use it!! Also start respecting her requests to not have pictures taken at all, she doesn’t want in the picture that’s fine.
YTA. stop doing that.
YTA,
they are pictures of **her** and while yes there are other people in the picture, it is still unfair to her if you post the pictures. her reasoning is valid, and you can still have those memories even if they aren’t on social media. she’s not trying to control what you post, she is simply asking you not to post pictures that feature her in them because she’s insecure. it would be the same thing if she had a “no photos for safety” rule.
she does not owe it to you, or anyone for that matter, to deal with her insecurity. it’s a burden enough for her to have to deal with it that having others pressure her might just be making it worse. I will however suggest that if you really need pictures to post online, get one with her and everyone else in it then do a “social media” version and politely ask her to leave the frame.