22M here. I buy my own snacks with my allowance from internship. If I leave them in the kitchen, they get eaten, so I keep them in my room. Even then, my family (parents and younger sibling) still take them without asking.
I’ve asked them multiple times to at least ask first, but they say it’s not a big deal and laugh it off. After it kept happening, I bought a small lockbox and started keeping my snacks locked up.
Now my family say I’m being selfish and mean for not sharing. To be honest, I don’t mind sharing if people ask, but I really don’t want my own things taken without permission.
AITA?
NTA. Are they sharing all of their snacks? Do they eat things that you don’t care for, thus the “sharing” is uneven or nonexistent? Do they buy these same snacks for the household when given a chance? My guess is the answer to all questions is no. Hide your stuff.
NTA. And I’d get a lock for your room as well.
Tell them it’s not a big deal to buy their own
But a dictionary and highlight the word respect.
How are they not embarrassed by this behaviour??
Stealing like a bloody toddler with no self control.
NTA
And please, common sense need to come back asap
Is it a matter of your family not being able to afford enough snacks?
NTA. Im a mom and I hide snacks for myself. I get mad when they get stolen lol. Sometimes after a long day I just want to enjoy a treat at night by myself, and if I go to find it missing, it ruins my whole mood.
Yup… husband is a sugar junkie. If I buy chocolate I need the hide it
Theft is not “Sharing”.
Sharing is the conscious decision to bring your snacks to someone else.
Theft is someone else’s conscious decision to take your snacks without your knowledge or consent.
NTA. And if I were you, I’d buy some gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, no salt snacks, you know stuff that tastes like cardboard, leave them out as a decoy, and tell them I’m trying to eat healthier.
NTA. It’s not about the food, it’s about the total lack of respect for your boundaries. If they “laugh it off” after you’ve asked them to stop, they’ve basically forced your hand. Keeping things in your room is already a hint; the lockbox is just the natural consequence of them being entitled. You aren’t being selfish for wanting to actually eat the stuff you paid for. If they want snacks, they can buy their own or just learn to use their words like adults.
NTA You aren’t going to make them happy except by giving in and endlessly supplying them with free snacks. On their end they need think no more beyond “get free snack = happy; no snack = sad and angry –> call for more snacks.” You aren’t having a reasonable discussion here. You are dealing with monkeys in a lab who are mashing any and all buttons trying to get a banana to pop out, because some came out before.
All you can do is *tell* them: “I’ve politely asked you to ask me before taking a snack; you won’t do it, so I’m resorting to this in order to be able to have some of my own snacks. You can still *ask*. You can’t just *take* anymore. The only alternative is for me to stop buying snacks I barely get a look at.”
NTA
You’re not unwilling to share. You’re asking for courtesy and respect. Things you buy for yourself are not the same thing as general pantry items.
If I stick something in the cabinet, it’s to share. If my name is on the box, it means don’t eat the last one, leave it for me.
Some of my snacks are $40 boxes of protein bars, so those go in my room, though.
NTA
Sharing is when you are snacking and offer some to another person. Going to your personal space and taking your snacks without permission is called stealing.
Tell your family the store is public and they can go buy their own snacks anytime.
NTA. This isn’t normal, family stealing your snacks and not asking, or at the very least not replacing. I moved back in with my Mom for financial reasons, but even before I moved out, my siblings and I would always just write our names or put a sticker on anything we purchased specifically for ourselves. Everyone else in the house has always respected that. Even my cousins who have a more toxic family dynamic still respect each other’s things and food.
I just don’t understand why they wouldn’t buy their own if they’re so intent on snacking. It’s cheap shit. At this point, I’d keep it locked on principle.