My husband and I take turns making lunches for our daughter. Occasionally I include a little note in the lunchbox with something like, "Can’t wait to keep reading X book tonight!" or "Looking forward to hanging out with you at the water park on Saturday!" plus the "love you/proud of you" stuff.
My husband didn’t know I did this, and saw me doing it the other day. He asked if I could sign the note from both Mama and Papa. I told him no, this was my personal note, but he could write one if he wanted. I even gave him a small piece of paper if he wanted to write a note.
He refused, got super mad and compared it to me not letting him sign a birthday card for our daughter, or saying a Christmas gift was just from me (not both of us). I think it’s different.
What say you, AITAH?
NTA. How hard is it to write your child a note that’s personal to you? If he couldn’t think of anything or be bothered to make the effort, that’s a huge problem.
Yta what do you gain from not letting him sign. It’s just selfish and could have been a nice surprise for the child
Why can’t he write her his own personal note? Just signing a name isn’t the same thing at all
It’s a tradition between her and the child. Duh.
he wants credit without doing any work. You gave him the pen and paper and refused, which shows he doesn’t care about giving a note to your kid, only the credit. he should be embarrassed as a grown man
NTA – you gave him paper to write his own note. If it mattered that much to him, he should have done that. Even with the “not letting him sign a birthday card” situation, if he didn’t contribute, he’s not entitled to sign it…
Honestly I wouldn’t let him sign the birthday card either. NTA he can do nice things for your daughter without piggy backing what you’re doing.
NTA. If your husband wants credit, then he has to do the work.
It’s not that complicated.
So, he’s upset because he’s struggling with his daughter but he won’t *checks notes* write his own lunch notes to her or do anything that requires effort to bond? Oh, and then blames you for his lack of effort. NTA
NTA. he has his own hands, his own pens, his own relationship with his child. you could only be the AH in this situation if he wanted to start writing notes too and you said, “no this is my thing”. he is more than welcome to incorporate notes into his turn making lunches, as you’ve said.
Why would this upset you? Credit matters with your babies? Do you not like each other? I always wanted my babies to know mommy and daddy were together in everything. Credit didn’t matter. Something must be wrong elsewhere for this to bother you.
I think the guys saying youre NTA are kinda wrong, parents are suppose to work together, not compete with each other, whats wrong with having your personal letter include your husband? Its for your child, whats up with the pride and ego from both of you? Both of you guys are TA, I cant imagine my parents being like this, seems kinda shallow to argue over. You know youve been writing letters to your daughter and didnt think to tell your husband or maybe ask him if he wants to write one too? He has to catch you red-handed? Idk what u guys do for a living, maybe you guys work all day but sometimes someone cant really think how to express themselves without any help, also with facing reality everyday, some things just go over our heads, I know it shouldnt be a reason but theres always a choice to make things easy for both of you, and clearly you guys dont think about that.. So both of you are TA
Only my opinion…
NTA I used to leave notes in my kids lunches. My husband did not. He never asked and I never offered, but I do know for certain that he wouldn’t have acted like an ass if he had asked and I said no. He would have simply written a note on his own.
ESH.
You’re petty as all hell. Be better.