I divorced my first husband a long time ago. He demanded that I sign away all claim to child support, and in return, he wouldn’t try to get custody of our child. That was a lie. He used custody claims as a weapon for years. The legally binding agreement I signed is on file with the Family Court.
His second wife was cruel to our son, and is the reason my son and his father became estranged. I’ve just learned from my son’s aunt that my ex, after multiple strokes, is terminal and begging to die. He’s in aged care and isn’t coming out. The only words he says are ‘Help me’, and ‘Kill me’.
The second wife called my SIL asking for the address of my ex’s cousin, to give him some personal effects belonging to my ex’s father. Not to the only blood grandchild. She seems to be trying to erase my child from the family. She has two kids from a former marriage. They had no kids together.
Here’s the AITA part. My ex didn’t make a will, and he’s beyond being in a condition to do so. So the rules on inheritance here are if there’s no will, the spouse gets personal effects plus a bit more than half the money. The children, or in this case child, gets the rest. There’s a couple of million to be shared out. His wife’s kids by someone else are out of the equation.
My son feels resentful that he was used as a bargaining chip. We both feel pretty pissed off that we were left to live in poverty while he supported other kids. We’re comfortably off now, but no thanks to him, or his wife, or her kids. That was down to years of working shit jobs while I studied and scrimped, and we BOTH went without a lot. Those 14 years of child support he refused to pay would have made our lives a lot easier.
Am I the asshole for thinking I should consult a lawyer to make sure my boy gets his share, and a woman who is trying to write my son out of his family doesn’t get what she was wanted, even if two grown-ass adults who thought they were in for a big payday get a nasty shock?
NTA
Rules of inheritance are what they are. Your ex-husband had plenty of time to write a will, and didn’t: that’s on him, if his wife’s adult children get only what they inherit from their mother, not from their stepfather.
Certainly, consult a lawyer to make sure everything is done correctly and your son gets the inheritance he’s legally due.
Nah sis, lawyer up and make sure you get what you’re due. NTA
NTA. Your child comes first and he has been through too much already. It sounds like his father will be more useful to him in death than in life unfortunately.
May he be kept alive for maximum suffering and may your son get his belated child support.
NTA
Get legal advice now.
NTA – you are not doing something just to be petty about it but to get your child what they are legally entitled to. I get you son feels uncomfortable about it but I am pretty sure a million (if what you say is correct) will help him get over that, or at least pay for the therapy. Good luck
laws of inheritance in my state is all of everything goes to the wife. see yoko ono v julian lennon so if the law where you live is that children automatically get *some* of an inheritance then you should be very greatful for that. you arent going to get more without your ex giving him more right now.
definitely get a lawyer when hes dead to get whatever hes legally entitled to, but nothing you have said entitles him to more then that.
if you are in the usa if your child is a minor and the parent dies you can get social security death benefits.
yta
I’m in Australia. The law is very clear.
well then what is there to fight about.
Er, moral qualms. His second wife’s kids have probably made big plans for that money, And I’m sure their mother has told them they’ll be getting it.
I feel shit about depriving them of it. Funnily enough, it wouldn’t be an issue if the second wife hadn’t tried to write my ex’s only descendant out of history. All my son really wants is is his paternal grandfather’s ring and his diaries. But getting something of negligible monetary value means going for the lot.
NTA. Get a lawyer and claim everything you legally can for your son.
NTA. Yes, do engage a lawyer definitely.