Hi Reddit,
First of all , I want to specify that I am a 33 y.o. who was born and raised in Eastern Europe. I immigrated to Canada when I was a child and now, all my friends and closed ones are here. I kept a Facebook to please my mother who wanted me to keep in touch with my relatives , even though I barely speak my native language anymore. I tried to message them , even though I grew out of the older generations thinking of showing off everything on social just for the views. This is not who I want to be and I do not abide by their behaviors. But I love my mom , so I liked every post , every birthday.
Last year , I became less active on social , because my friends are now in the mid-thirties and they don’t use FB anymore. My mom called me on Christmas to tell me that my aunt called her , because her son ( my cousin) is devastated that I didn’t wish him Happy Birthday last year and she demand an apology letter to her and her son.
I feel like this is such a reach for two mid-thirties adults and I refused. My mother hung up on me and she don’t answer me anymore.
Am I in the wrong ?
NTA. You shouldn’t be expected to always do some meaningless virtual acknowledgment of the birthday of someone you barely know.
NTA. It’s really strange for your cousin to be so devastated that you didn’t acknowledge his birthday on Facebook. Your mom, aunt, and cousin need to take a breath and really decide if this is something to be so upset over because it isn’t.
Your mom uses you to elevate her own social status. Within the family and her friends’ circle. Why to engage in a disingenuous relationship with so-called family, because she has bragging rights?
You don’t choose family, you choose friends. You are old enough to choose who you care about too. The list better start with you on top, than your SO second. Your mom has done her job of raising you, but she is no longer an influential figure in your decision making process. Also, her meddling in something between a butthurt nephew and you is something a grade 10 student would do. You don’t need high school antics, despite your mom and aunt acting as the popular kids at the back of the bus..
Ntah