This happened like 2 hours ago at time of post so i still feel quite raw, violated and frustrated still.
I (m20s) was in my bedroom and after dinner and then a shower i was feeling quite sleepy and got into bed as for what would hopefully be to fall asleep for the night, granted it was still somewhat early (for me) about 9:30-10pm.
Due to past history ( which is too long to drive into fully likely anxiety based) i find it hard to fall asleep i am either 2 extremes: i can fall asleep in 10 minutes or it be 4 hours of trying so when i get sleepy i go to bed near instantly sometimes the ritual of shutting computer down, turning off lights, brushing teeth etc is enough to wake me up enough not to be sleepy anymore.
I was woken up due to the bedroom door as its extremely creaky around 1:30 am it was my mother she then proceed to walk into my room and turns my computer off which is extremely close to my bed ( less then a foot/ with arms reach) and then walks out. The most reasonable she would even come into my room at that time that i can think of is either i snored as she was in the bathroom as it is a very thin wall and then walked in and turn everything off.
The reason i know for sure it was her because she has done the same thing in the past multiple times and told me off for going to sleep with my light/computer on the basis of saving on bills . I normally give a neutral response as if i point out all the hypocrisy when it comes to saving money on bills as she turn on lights unnecessarily out of habit or my dad leave the xbox on and she doesn’t turn it off or how leaving lights+computer on for roughly 8 hours at off peak times is nothing comparing to my dad’s insistence of having the heating in winter on which is FAR more costly.
What makes this situation so frustrating is that i ask near nothing of them (parents) except do not come into my room while i\`m asleep as once woken up i find it incredibly hard to fall back asleep as i feel like i have to be on guard, alert and have my defences up just in case it happens again.
While i don’t like my light being turned off i can understand and it is right next to the doorway so the chances of it waking me up is minimum but i do not understand seeing me in bed asleep then seeing my computer on and think
" i should get within arms reach of a sleeping person and turn off their computer because it will save X money even though it is likely to wake them up"
From experience i can confidently say my mother is the type of person who only learns when it happens to her and it is incredibly hard to talk her into changing her opinion as the more you try the more defence and dug it she gets the only thing i can do is talk to her when she wakes up likely angrily and swear (which is extremely rare for me so it would show how strongly i feel on this) and say how violating it is to be sound asleep only to hear and then have a random person inches away from you messing with your belongings
edit: made a error in the judgement bot reply: it should read ".. unless it is a emergence and to stop turning off my computer"
Um either move out or start turning your shit off. Not hard. Act like a responsible adult.
Do you contribute to bills? I think we need some more information here cause to me this reads like you’re burying the lede here.
INFO: Are you, as a full adult, paying an appropriate rent and equal share of utilities? If not, do you have some sort of disability that prevents you from working and supporting yourself?
EDIT Since no answer from OP was immediately forthcoming, I’m going to flesh this out. If OP were fully and appropriately contributing to the running of this household, or had a disability that legitimately prevented him from doing so… well then he might still be the AH for not just turning his damn computer off, but it would be less clear-cut. Tbh I’m getting neither fully-contributing-adult nor too-disabled-to-function vibes from the post, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Frankly, and sorry to say it, but the vibe I do get is that if you changed OP’s age to 16 but left everything else the same, the post would make more sense. I think that’s the basic reason why most people are tearing OP a new one on here, and with respect, it’s something he should do some introspection about.
You are living at home, in your mid twenties?
Turn the damn electronics off before you go to sleep, and stop being such a whining embarrassment.
YTA — it’s essentially your parents house and rules you need to respect it. I don’t know if you pay any bills though.
You’re an adult now. Grow the fuck up and move into your own place if you don’t want your mother coming into your room and shutting down your PC.
YTA
YWBTA if you exploded at your mom. Her wanting you to turn your computer off is a reasonable request. it just takes a few seconds. Next time you get sleepy just turn it all off before you do.
Maybe you can change your computer setting to turn off if there is no activity after an hour. Then you can let your mom know you set it to shut down after a period of time so she doesn’t need to turn it off. That could be a good backup plan.
YWBTA. It’s cause and effect. If you leave your computer on and you know your mom is going to come in and turn it off, waking you up in the process, you really can’t complain when she does exactly what you knew she was going to do because of what you did. It’s essentially your fault that she’s coming in in the first place and then you’re getting mad about it. Start turning it off before you go to bed. Or, if you’re such a light sleeper, sleep with an eye mask on & earplugs in. As other people have suggested, if you pay no bills, you could offer to help pay the electric bill if she will stay out of your room. Either way, this is on you to find a solution, your mom is not the problem here.
YTA, just turn off your computer. I bet she’s the one paying the electricity, if you don’t like it then move out. Feeling like your privacy is being invaded isn’t nice, but neither is having to pick up after your adult son because he’s too entitled and ungrateful to follow basic house rules.
Turn your computer off and lock your door
Put a lock inside the door or use a rubber door wedge under it.
Computers do use up a decent chunk of electricity, much more so than lights (especially LED lights nowadays). Twice as much as an Xbox, but either way, there’s no “hypocrisy” because the people who pay for the electricity get to prioritize how it’s used.
You’re arguing about other people turning off your electronics that are on while you’re sleeping, so YTA about that. If you’re asleep, why is your computer on and why are your lights on?
But look: this is a problem that technology can solve. Set your computer so it shuts down after a certain amount of idle time. Get some smart lights, or a smart plug that you can plug your lamp into, and have your lights automatically turn off at a time that makes sense to you. For me, I have all smart lights turn off at midnight. Then, nothing is left on unnecessarily, and nobody has to come into your room.
This might seem like nickel-and-dime BS, but you do have to keep in mind that the cost of heating and electric DOES add up, and isn’t it kinda silly, after all, to waste $20/mo just on leaving a computer on while you’re unconscious? That’s $20 that could be spent on a tasty dinner or a movie or a new game.
You also have to keep in mind that the cost of electricity has gone up, AND the cost of food, and pretty much the cost of everything. Your parents might be just like most of us, noticing how much less our money buys these days, and it makes sense to find “low-hanging fruit” or easy ways to free up some bucks by changing habits.
Do your part and turn things off. Especially if you are not contributing money to the bill! It’s a reasonable request and frankly it’s better for your electronics.
As an added bonus, when you do move out, your soon-to-be-established habit of turning things off will save you money. It’s just a good habit to have all around.
And in fact, another good adulting tip is, when you’re ready to turn in for the night, just take 5-10 minutes to do a lap around the house and pick up clutter, put things away, load the dishwasher, empty the trash, turn things off, set out your clothes for tomorrow, etc. so that when you wake up in the morning, everything is tidy and ready for the day. It’s really a game-changer and helps make things much more efficient in the morning.
ESH. Adults deserve privacy even if they’re living at home, but not shutting down your computer at night when you know it’s important to them makes you an AH, too.