One time, years ago, I worked for an unstable, fitness-nut CEO who instructed me to fire one of my employees because he didn’t like that the employee was fat.
"I can do that," he yelled at me, when I protested. "It isn’t a protected category, I checked! I can fire him for being fat!" He meant, of course, that there was no risk of legal liability (in this particular locality in the USA) for wrongful termination, as though \*that\* were the basis for my dissent.
I bobbed and weaved for months. Dodging, burying the topic, hoping he would forget. I did everything I could to just keep this employee out of the CEO’s line of sight. But then, in the middle of a predictable, particularly stormy rage, he made this threat: "Either you do it, or I am going to do it." I had worked for him long enough to know exactly how he would handle it–ugly, demeaning–and he knew that I knew. This guy weaponized my basic humanity to get me to do his dirty work: he made it clear to me that this employee’s termination was assured, and the only way they were going to be able to maintain a shred of dignity was if I made sure that I was the one to do the firing instead of him.
So, I did it. And then I quit.
I’m haunted by it. It’s definitely a significant part of the reason I ultimately decided I wanted no more part of career advancement, leadership roles, …in fact, honestly, business at all. I’ve been lucky in the years since to be able to focus on work that I have enjoyed with people I have admired and whose company I have enjoyed.
Nevertheless, I’m ashamed and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I’m not looking for people to try to make me feel better, I really want to know what other people think. AITA?
NTA in my opinion. You did try to help this person keep their job and for them it was probably “easier” to be fired by you then by the CEO (that one is big time A\*hole), but I understand that this is weighing on you and I’m sorry. You were put in an impossible situation.
What could you have done differently? If you had quit before the firing would have still happened, but most likely in a demeaning way. So not a better outcome in my opinion.
Here is a thought: Why don’t you try to find the employee and talk to them? I understand this might be awkward, but maybe it would help you to make amends. I don’t know what motive you gave them for the firing, but maybe talking to them will give even both of you closure.
NTA sounds like you fired him with dignity and not what the ceo would have done.
NTA. You tried to stall but the CEO gave you an ultimatum, you handled the termination with care, and left after the fact because you realized the CEO was awful. You’re not TA, the CEO is for putting you in that position.
he was going to get fired either way and at least this way he didn’t have to get berated by a total psychopath on his way out
Gotta say, I don’t see the logic of doing his dirty work and quitting, doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me. Like if you had enough of a problem with it to quit, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t quit before having to do it.
So that the ceo wouldnt fire the employee his way.
NTA. Since you quit anyway, you should tell your ex employee why the boss wanted him fired. In some rare instances, obesity may be considered a disability so who knows, there may be a legal case here. Regardless, the ex employee could blast the company, make a TikTok or something that held the company and the CEO accountable. You can also act as a reference for the employee.
NTA. Assuming US here, but most of us are “at will” employees, so can be fired for anything outside of the narrow protected categories, and even that can be worked around. Sometimes in management you have to do things that you would prefer not to, and your only recourse is to quit. You made sure that the guy didn’t have to sit through the nastiness of the CEO, and then you quit. Your alternative was to quit knowing what the CEO would have done to the guy in your place, and you would probably feel even worse about it. I do hope you had one hell of an exit interview, but I get the feeling this guy didn’t give you one.
I mean you can argue that CEO and – through him – you created a hostile work environment.
You also dont know if your colleague weight was related to a health issue (which can include over eating due to mental health) – which would make it discrimination based a protected characteristic.
You also couldve reached out to ACAS for advice at any point…
You couldve expressed concern about the risk to the company to HR.
You couldve low key mentioned it to your employee so they had time and your support to quietly jobhunt/seek their own advice.
Quitting in protest makes sense but YTA as there were plenty of things you coulve done beforehand.
Yes force his hand make him be the bad guy
I’m gonna say YTA, not for firing him, but for not giving him a heads up. He was always going to get fired, and you did prolong his employment, and probably have him a much better firing than he would have gotten otherwise, but you should have let him know as soon as you were first told about it, so he could prepare.
YTA. He should have done the dirty work and you should have given the guy a heads up it was coming.
NTA and the fact it haunts you confirms it. The only thing you could have done differently was warn him. Mention to him that the CEO is on a fitness streak and reacting negatively to people who do not share his philosophy. Start with that. He already sees what is going on. Then, tell him that the CEO is observing him closely. After, you can tell him the writing is on the wall. Basically, you did everything to to protect the guy, except give him the protection of being prepared or exiting on his own terms.
Your heart may be in the right place but YTA for how you went about it.
The winning move would’ve been to relay the conversation with the CEO to your co-worker (you could soften the language) as soon as it happened. Then whilst holding off the CEO you could’ve helped the guy find another job (and got one yourself.)
For bonus points you might’ve been able to scorch the CEO at the same time, get him on record for saying what he said, send it around the office and local press before you leave etc…