So my friend id consider a best friend has bedbugs, I found out when he gave them to me and I managed to get rid of them before an infestation. but before I knew, I hung out at his place and SAW a big one and always came back with bites for months. once I confronted him about it he claimed he didnt know he had them, which is clearly a lie if I literally see them in the daytime there. anyways he always asks me to hangout with him and know full well ive spent $700 on getting rid of them, as if he just doesn’t care. I always say no now to going in his car, or his place, or having him over. he also hangs out with his friends still like he doesn’t care about it… AITA for pushing him away orr
NTA
I would stay far away from that
There’s no “like” here. He doesn’t care. That you didn’t when you saw one is eyebrow raising to me, but I’m not judging you for your less than my concern at that time, so I’m not judging him for his even less than my concern.
NAH. Why this is even a question for you is beyond me. I would sooner pay to have his place fumigated for him than having any angst on his feelings toward the issue. I won’t be willingly, absent mindly having bugs on me, thats all I know.
NTA
NTA, things like bed bugs, scabies, or roaches are a big dealbreaker.
NTA
NTA What’s the alternative? Bring an infestation into your home again? Potentially spread it to your other friends and family? No.
Sounds like a very uneven friendship if he doesn’t care that he cost you $700.
NTA. But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect him to stop hanging out with his friends entirely. Obviously you don’t want to go to his place, but if the hangout is somewhere else, the odds of bedbug transfer are pretty minimal. As someone who once had a bedbug problem, it’s the absolute worst and you feel shame about it, even though it’s not your fault. So I wouldn’t just come out and tell people about it, but when someone brings it up it’s kinda silly to deny it.
NTA
NTA. He may not care about his own living situation, but if he were a real friend, he’d care about yours. He seems pretty shameless about his situation. Personally, I’d be mortified if I had bed bugs because I have been through it, and I was.
My oldest adult child had a gf who had them and brought them into our home via sitting on a couch. I was so embarrassed for myself. I was afraid to spread them even though we did everything we could to get rid of them. Which we did, but they cause anxiety and paranoia long after the fact. I was afraid to infect my car or inadvertently take them to my job. We spent so much money and time getting rid of them. I would only wish them on my worst enemy.
Op, maybe it’s time to let this friendship go.
NTA….Please tell me he’s taking care of the problem now. A friend in denial can be very frustrating indeed.
NTA. Your friend is an irresponsible jackass. We quarantined my BIL for almost a year until he got rid of them because he was being similarly cavalier. Took him 4 tries. He finally had to resort to the “bake his house” method to finally work. He wasn’t happy that we did this but there was no way I was letting those little terrorists anywhere near my house or my family. He just had to suck it up and we felt no guilt whatsoever.
NTA – it will be an endless loop if he doesn’t change. You’re not wrong to step away and protect your home and sanity.
NTA, NOR, what the actual fuck. People like that piss me off. If you have a bug infestation at your house and you invite people over, and you don’t let them know beforehand, you are an asshole.
My ex’s family had fleas and a lot of animals and acted like it didn’t bother them that the babies were itching and biting themselves raw to relieve the pain.
He and his family would invite friends over, friends who had pets, family who had pets, and none of them wouldn’t say anything about the fleas.
His aunt’s dog stayed with them for a few days and ended up having to get rid of her children’s first and only pet, a small toy golden doodle puppy the children named Jack Jack, all because it had fleas that came from her sister’s house. I guess my ex’s aunt didn’t think it was worth it to get the puppy treated for fleas and keep him. They only got to have him for a few months.
It’s about caring for others’ lives and their wellbeing, which obviously your friend does not.
NTA. You’re protecting yourself and your home.
It’s reasonable to say no until he handles the bedbugs properly.