So, this happened about two weeks ago – on Christmas Eve.
Our city has no limit on cardboard recycling, and it is collected separate from cans/bottles – in case your city is different and that factors in your decision.
Our recycling typically gets picked up between 1 and 3pm every Wednesday, with alternating weeks for type. On the 24th it was cardboard and we had a bunch in the garage I was going to put out when I finished work around 10am that day, I had a meeting to attend from 9-10 and had booked the entire day off but still had to attend this.
During the meeting I heard loud music from outside around 930 how that seemed odd – it turns out that was the recycling guys coming early and moving at a fast pace because many people didnt have things out yet so they were not stopping at every house.
I told my colleagues I had to run and try to catch the recycling guys, but as we are 3 houses in from the corner, they were already gone off of our street and into the side streets around us, but they would be returning to collect the Other side of the street some time later on their way out of our subdivision.
I saw the neighbor across thr road still had his bins out and full, so I took my cardboard and put it in a clear bag (allowed) and placed it with his. 1 bag… I compacted it down as much as possible and it wouldn’t tie, but it Fit.
An hour later my neighbor rings my doorbell and I answer to see him there with my bag of recycling, asking "is this yours?". I am not going to lie – he may have seen me, and our name/address are on some Amazon boxes anyways, so I said yes and that i didnt think it should have been a problem as we don’t have a limit.
He told me that I should have rang the doorbell to ask his permission before doing this, in an honestly self-righteous tone that was escalating, and I said "sorry man, I know youre a teacher and have two teenagers at home, I truly didnt know who might still be asleep and taking advantage of the school closure, and thought that would be a rude thing to do to you on Christmas, and again i didnt think there would be any issue with adding some cardboard since the guys flew past here so early and I was in a work call".
I reached for the bag, to take it back and stick in my garage for the next cardboard day in 2 weeks and he grabbed it away saying "no, you left it over with my stuff, and that’s fine, but you didnt ask me!" and he turned to walk away with my bag of cardboard in his hand.
AITA for not potentially waking up a teacher and their teenagers from (per my own kid their age) a much appreciated chance to sleep in, just to ask about adding some cardboard to their collection knowing there are no limits – on Christmas Eve, of all times?
NTA. He is an insufferable dolt.
Unless you made a mess, dumped rotting garbage in the wrong bin, or he gets charged extra for your items, he is just being a controlling boor.
NTA. Some people can get so weird about this. But the truth is that both legally and socially once you put your bins on the street and off your property that people can do what they like. They can add stuff, they can take stuff out. Even police can go through your garbage without a warrant once it has left your property.
You didn’t need to ask his permission. It would have been a courtesy to do so, but not required.
NTA.
Have done it myself, to save my self a trip to the dump. Neighbor across the street gets garbage picked up way later than me. It’s usually by 6 am for me and I’ve forgotten a few times. I have tried to get the truck to pick up my trash when I missed it by going to the other side of the street and watched the truck driver ignore me multiple times. So stashing it in a neighbors can (not full) is the most practical option. We all pay for the service through taxes, it’s not inconveniencing or costing a neighbor anything, I don’t see any harm in it.
NAH
It’s not really rational but I can understand why he would want you to ask. It just seems polite. You didn’t for reasons that are also perfectly reasonable. He’s made his position clear. You’ve taken it on board. You were willing to mitigate the situation but he was quite happy to take the bag back so I guess there’s no hard feelings on his part.
YTA
I don’t believe any of the justification you have did not knocking were true in the moment, only when you were confronted.
That he came to you an hour later with the bag tells me it wasn’t as urgent as all that. You could have finished your work call and then gone to ask. 10 am is ok when people have a day off.
Or you could have sucked it up for 2 weeks. You could have put yours out the night before, other people’s stuff is other people’s stuff and it is polite to ask to use it.
Soft ESH, your neighbor’s kind of making a mountain out of a molehill, but at the same time, adding stuff to your neighbor’s recycling is not very neighborly either.
It’s just cardboard, it could’ve waited two weeks.
NTA. Probably NAH, depending on how aggressive he was. Your reasoning was sound, but it’s fair for him to want you to ask first.
NTA to me, but apparently YTA in your neighbors eyes.
YTA
Respect other peoples’ shit. Doesn’t matter if you get it or not. You’re a grown ass adult so act like one and put your recycling out the night before like everybody else. Or like someone said above, suck it up and wait two weeks. It should not be difficult to respect someone else’s boundaries, especially when they communicate them to you.
Technically YTA because there’s an etiquette around trash and not sticking stuff in a neighbor’s can without asking permission.
That being said, most people, myself included, could not care less and really think this “etiquette” needs to perish. Neighbors should be welcoming and neighborly. In the grand scheme of things, who cares if garbage goes in this can or that one?
He’s a little prickly about it, but he’s right – you should have asked, because it’s odd to put stuff in other people’s trash/recycling…
NAH.
Mild YTA. Even a note on the door would have mitigated it after a soft knock. I had a major alcoholic neighbor. He started putting his beer bottles in my bin where it was overflowing. I’d wake up to bottles in my yard because it was overflowing and they only took what fit in the bin. I typic only filled it up halfway. Some places also fine based on putting the wrong things (eg glass with cardboard only). I had to say something after I got an warning and it was his wife who answered. She said he was sneaking the beers and trying to hide how much he was drinking.
NTA