I’m 20F and live with my parents while my brother and I recently started college. My father has long-term issues with alcohol and risky financial behavior like day trading and gambling. Because of this, our family has been financially unstable for years.
Growing up, my father controlled all the money. I gave him every cent I earned from working, keeping almost nothing for myself. Despite that, there was no savings put aside for my education or my brother’s, and important bills are often ignored while he continues risky habits.
Tonight, I brought home food using my own money and sat down to eat. My father immediately accused me of being disrespectful, wasting his money, and having a bad attitude. He said eating food I bought for myself was selfish and inappropriate.
I finally confronted him. I raised my voice and told him I was exhausted from being blamed when his addictions and financial decisions are the reason we’re struggling. I pointed out that my college fees are due soon and there’s no plan to pay them, yet he continues reckless behavior.
From his perspective, I disrespected him in his own home, challenged his authority, and embarrassed him by calling out his behavior instead of staying quiet like I usually do. He believes I’m ungrateful and selfish for spending money on myself and for blaming him for our financial problems.
Afterward, I felt shaken and guilty for speaking up at all. I’ve always tried to keep the peace, but this time I couldn’t.
So AITA for confronting my father instead of staying silent like I always have?
NTA and if you can GTFO, as soon as possible. The man is an anchor who is, and always will be, holding you back.
Go to you university and get options for external support, help with fees etc. As soon as you are out of the door, go no contact. It will put you at a financial disadvantage compared to those with a stable background but you will be better off in the long run.
Good luck.
You’re NTA. I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this.
NTA. Your father sounds like a child that’s never been held accountable in his life. He sounds mentally unstable. I’d recommend getting out as soon as you can. Leave him and his poor financial decisions to rot
NTA. You’re just not used to speaking to him directly about it, so it feels kinda wrong, but you’re not even a little bit wrong.
I wish you the best with getting out of there, this is a terrible situation and you were right to stand up for yourself.
NTA. It’s like your dad’s financial decisions are a rollercoaster ride, and you’re just trying to grab the emergency brake. Time to invest in your own future, kid.