When I was at university I had a close friendship group with the people I lived with. There were 4 guys and two girls.
We all planned to go on holiday together to celebrate finishing but that was in 2020 so it didn’t go ahead due to the pandemic.
We’re all from different cities and have different schedules and commitments so it has been impossible to all get together.
One of the guys made a group chat and mentioned us all going on the holiday and said we should do it this summer. We all agreed and started looking at hotels, hostels, airbnbs etc.
I told my gf what we were planning and she asked if she was invited. I said on since it was just the friendship group and no one is bringing their partners.
She said she found it weird I was going on holiday without her and that she thinks she should be invited. I said no again and explained again what the trip was for.
She repeated that she thinks she should be coming or that I shouldn’t be going but I just told her there’s nothing wrong with going on holiday without your partner.
She said I was being disrespectful towards her by going on holiday with other women.
AITAH for going on holiday without my girlfriend?
INFO – do you also go on holidays with your girlfriend – or is this the first holiday you take since you are a couple?
Yeah we go on holidays together
Then NTA. You are both entitled to have your own social life; and you will be going with a mixed friendsgroup.
NTA. You gave her a heads uo what was happening so she could make her own plans. She cant expect you to have to go on every trip, holiday, outing as a couple.
If it’s a guy’s trip that’s totally OK. Don’t let her make you feel like you have to be stuck together everywhere you go. I’m sure she will take trips too without you.
NTA. You’re allowed to have a life outside your relationship. This was a pre-planned friends trip, not a couples date. Her framing as “disrespect” is insecurity. Going without her is normal.
NTA
Couples don’t have to be joined at the hip. I don’t see it as disrespectful unless it’s a pattern of bad behavior. Going on a trip with friends is not a problem on it’s own.
By mentioning other women, she is probably insecure so you need to reassure her on that front, even if you think it’s a ridiculous thought. If she won’t drop that angle, then that’s going to be an ongoing problem for you and you’ll need to figure some things out between you guys.
INFO did you actually ask your friends if they are bringing their partners and/or if partners are invited? It doesn’t say so in the post.
Imagine if you went on the holiday, and then one or two of the others bring their partners. And then your partner found out. That would be a shitstorm.
You’re in a stronger position if you clarify “I asked the others, and we agreed not to bring partners and make it just us” — as long as that is the truth.
And, you never know, maybe they’d be happy for your partner to come along.
Don’t just assume. It could backfire.
Yea we’ve all said the trip is just for the friendship group.
NTA, this is for the missed uni friend group trip. She can’t be expected to be glued to your hip for everything, I think her problem is she’s insecure about herself and your relationship with her because of the “taking a holiday with other women” comment. The best you can do is reassure her and talk it over.