I’m a 20F University student. Last week, my friend (21F) skipped an important class presentation because she overslept. She panicked and emailed our professor saying there was a “family emergency.”
Later that day, she asked me to back her up if the professor checked, since I’m her project partner. I felt uncomfortable because it was a straight-up lie, and attendance and honesty are taken pretty seriously in our course. I told her I didn’t want to get involved or lie on her behalf.
She got upset and said I was being a bad friend and that “everyone does this” in college. Now she’s barely talking to me, and a couple of our mutual friends think I should’ve just helped her this one time since it wasn’t a big deal.
I feel bad because I don’t want to lose a friend, but I also don’t think it’s fair to expect me to lie and risk consequences.
AITA for refusing to cover for her?
NTA she shouldn’t have involved you at all. You’d have been able to truthfully say you had no idea what she was doing, but expecting you to lie for her if you’re not comfortable doing so is a shitty thing to do. Especially if it could potentially impact your grade. Were you able to present without her?
NTA. I’d tell her, “I’m not lying for you.” You don’t need to justify that. She didn’t even ask if you’d be willing to lie for her before she lied to the professor
NTA I do my best not to lie, and I wouldn’t want to lie in this situation either. I also agree with people who are saying that she didn’t actually need your involvment in her lie anyways.
NTA at all. A “family emergency” is the kind of lie that can blow up fast, and she was literally asking you to risk your grade and integrity because she couldn’t wake up on time.
If “everyone does this,” then she can find “everyone” else to lie for her.
NTA but i know a lot of people will disagree. in my opinion she’s the bad friend first for asking you to lie. a lot of people in your real life will be against you because they don’t have a problem with lying or they think lying is ok if it is against an authority figure/The Man? next she’s asking you to lie to the cops that she didn’t have anything to drink. im just not a liar, and i hate how liars will feel some type of way, get offended or feel like you’re saying you’re better than them (you are…) for being an honest person. too bad so sad next time she’ll wake up on time. not to mention it’s a presentation and you were her partner? so she left you high and dry to do the presentation yourself because she was too embarrassed to show up late… ya she can fail for all i care.
NTA. Honesty prevails over all. She’s childish AF for coming up with a lie or even thinking she had to in the first place. This is college, not elementary school. Shit happens, life happens. You simply do not show to work or class and you literally say “personal reasons” nothing more, nothing less.
Girl needs to grow up
This is much ado about relatively little. Yes, there’s the principle of her asking you to commit academic dishonesty, which she shouldn’t have done, and you’d have no obligation to go along with it.
But let’s look at the actual situation. There is no reason on earth the professor is going to ask you to confirm what your friend said. Why would he?
You haven’t said your friend is in the habit of not showing up to class or doing her work. So why can’t you just say you won’t say she overslept? All you’d have to say is “I don’t know where she was,” which isn’t entirely a lie and, again, you’re not going to be asked. So telling her you’ll have her back in a situation in which you actually don’t have to do anything would not have been a big deal.
You seem to be making way too much of this. And now, if you ever need a favor from her, you can probably forget it.
Question: Does the professor actually confirm all excuses with other students? Because, if so, my answer would probably be different, but that would be bizarre behavior.
>my friend (21F) skipped an important class presentation because she overslept
No, but it’s likely the professor will ask why she was absent for something like this. Especially if the presentation was something she was supposed to actually participate in herself.
You know what? I missed that she missed the actual presentation. But I still don’t see why the professor would ask OP to confirm her friend’s email.
The professor wouldn’t be asking every student, just *potentially* OP. Why? Because OP was the friend’s *project partner*. So presumably since the friend no-showed for the presentation, OP would have had to do their presentation alone.
It’s entirely reasonable for the professor to go to the project partner and ask if the missing student talked to them or mentioned anything as a reason for missing *their* project presentation.
NTA. You expressed a boundary and she got upset because of it. She’s the one who put you in a terrible position by asking you to do something you didn’t want to do. You said you didn’t want to get involved nor did you want to lie on her behalf. It’s not like you’re going out of your way to narc on her. Just continue minding your own business and if the professor does ask, just say you don’t want to comment on other people’s personal lives and that he/she should ask your “friend” (or ex-friend) directly. If you lose your “friend” over this, then you’re just gonna have to live with it. You chose your principles over peer pressure (which is good and mature) but there are consequences 🤷♀️. Learn from this and make better friends in the future.
NTA why didn’t your mutual friends do it instead since they think it’s so fine.
The more I think about it I have to ask, are you sure she slept through the alarm are just didn’t want to do it so lied to you?
After all it may seem like a little whatever lie but so would telling you that she slept through the alarm and now you know she is okay with at least little lies.
I know I’m overthinking this now but that it what happens when people lie you start wondering if they are willing to lie about this what else are they willing to lie about.