Backstory: I introduced M to my friend K. K and I are very close and would consider a best friend. M decided it was a cute funny joke to call my partner autistic, an alcoholic, and was losing his hair on a beach trip to me in front of K. After the beach trip, I cut off M’s friendship for good and told her I no longer wanted to have contact with her.
Now to present day, heard through the grapevine that M’s partner and K’s partner were talking bad about me. They called what M said a conspiracy theory and that the truth that went down on the beach was questionable.
As a result, I called K hurt and confused why I would hear that her partner would say this about me, especially after hearing what M said in person at the beach. Felt like it might have been a game of telephone but who knows…
Long story short, caused a fight between K and her partner, hurt the people I heard the rumor from ect. Feeling like I should have let it go but also feel okay telling K so I wouldn’t have resentment in our friendship… Am I the asshole?
Edit: for context, I talk to K daily. Do not talk to M. M’s partner and K’a partner are friends
Honestly, YTA. You’ve been no contact for some stretch of time. Intentionally reaching out to them about some random gossip you heard is just peak drama-seeking behavior.
Heard the rumor today that K’s partner is still talking about. See K weekly so it wasn’t reaching out per say
No contact is with M
In that case, I guess ESH. This sounds like some middle school behavior. Just gossip on gossip and people starting issues because they heard someone might have said something.
If they were Any kind of friend they would shut that shit down not bring you the drama.
NTA. Sometimes it is better to go the direct route instead of letting the game of telephone grow. It makes sense to go to your BFF and have her help you suss out the truth (I mean, the rumor that came back to you could have been inaccurate, too).
Thanks for the opinion. Appreciate it
The real asshole is the ‘grapevine’ that shared this with you.
M’s partner was sharing their perspective of the situation with their friend in a private conversation. K’s partner is allowed to participate in that conversation and have his own opinion of you, outside of K.