Hi all, I (18m) and my father (49m) just had an argument and I just wanna know who’s in the wrong.
Context:
Earlier today my father went to his mom’s house to cook her dinner, I was out running errands so I didn’t go with him. Later he texts me to come over to get the food and bring it home. So I do just that. I go there and pack up the food, but as I’m leaving my aunt (53f) says for me to take the store bought chocolate cake with me when I go, the conversation went something like this.
Aunt: Hey you can take that cake if you want.
Me: Are you sure?
Aunt: Yeah your dad left it here.
Me: Did he buy it for anyone specifically?
Aunt: Nah just take it.
Me: Don’t mind if I do.
Then I walked out and went home, shooting my father a text and he never responded so I ate a slice or two. Then he finally responds and this is the conversation.
Me: What’s the cake for? (7:43 pm)
Father: Don’t touch (9:07 pm)
Me: You say an hour and a half later
Father: Don’t care I didn’t say that was for yall
My kitchen ain’t clean nor house
Me: Auntie said we could take it.
Father: I told her to tell y’all to take it not eat it
Me: There’s still a third left (there was only about two thirds to start)
Father: I didn’t tell y’all touch it it
Me: Also didn’t say we couldn’t for the longest (replying to my first message)
He then went on a rant, lot of swearing and how he’s “done with” us. I admit I probably shouldn’t have eaten a slice but I was told by one person I could, given no context as to what the cake was for or who it was for, just told to take it. The cake probably costed 15 bucks and I could always get him another. AITA?
ESH. Not a single person in this story communicated well, you included.
This is wild. NTA. Your aunt insisted you take home an already open and eaten cake. You took a slice…of cake. It was not ear marked for anyone or any occasion. Apparently your dad just wanted to control when it was eaten. And he’s out drunk cussing you out. Could you have waited for a response? Sure. But it’s a damn already eaten, opened cake. The stakes are not high. I cannot imagine telling my grown ass child no to a piece of cake. Now if he told you before, please clean before eating or anything, then alright. But that didn’t happen.
NTA. Auntie probably figured your dad would eat the whole cake so she told you to eat it. Also it wasn’t a whole cake so it’s not like he was gifting it to someone. He’ll calm down.
Communications was not good here.
Your Dad should have gotten back to you earlier.
You should have waited for a respond before you ate the cake.
I would say soft YTA.
NTA you don’t know if nobody tells you. Don’t give it another thought. It’s just cake!
Everyone who’s saying YTA, NONE of this should ever warrant a parent yelling and swearing at their child. Sure, communication could have been better but the father is the real AH here.
Can’t imagine legitimately getting mad at my child for eating pieces of a cake that I bought. It’s not that deep.
INFO
> Father: I told her to tell y’all to take it not eat it
Is this some dad joke about not having your cake and eating it too? I’m so confused about the expectations here.
NTA. If he told her to tell you to take it, he should have expected you would take that to mean you could eat it. She seemed to have thought the same. He should be better at communicating or just message and tell you himself.
wait for a response before you eat. it’s not rocket science? YTA
NTA. Having patented a teenage male child, I would never send them to pick up food without clear instructions on what to do with said food.
Same here. I write “dad’s – do not touch” on anything I bring home and leave in the fridge or on the counter if I want to have any expectation of it being there in the morning.
NTA
NTA. It’s a $15 grocery store cake, already partially eaten, and you left some for your dad. The “I said you could take it not that you could eat it” comes across as really petty and rules-lawyering. It wasn’t a $200 birthday cake. If it turns into a huge thing just buy your dad another one, but…he seems like someone who likes to spring little traps for “fun” and that sticks in my craw.
Any father that tells their kids “im done with you” isnt to be taken seriously