I (16f) got a 90 on my most recent apush exam, which is better than I (or anyone in the class I believe) have ever done. I was super proud of myself and very eager to tell my best friend(16f), who is also in the class, later that day. I walk into algebra 2 and I exclaim that I got a 90.
bsf: how? didn’t you study for 5 minutes? I studied the whole week and did bad.
me: haha. what did u get?
bsf: Hey I don’t say haha when you get a bad score and I got \_\_.
me: oh
mutual friend: are you glad you took the test after break?
bsf: no
me: well I did good so im fine
\*bsf glares at me\*
After this whole interaction, every attempt I make to talk to her is met with eye rolls or short responses. Also, the part where she says, "Hey I don’t say haha when you get a bad score." is her trying to say she is there for me when I don’t do well. Which she isn’t, quite frankly she ignores me until someone else has cheered me up. I’ve tried taking to her about how this makes me feel but no change has been made. After school, I go to my apush teacher to boast about my 90. He congratulates me and then says "dude, \*bsf name\* is pissed. I could hear her yelling about it in the hallway from my room." me and my teacher talk about it a little more, he wishes me luck and I leave. We cheer together so at the basketball game that night, she straight up ignores me. I try joining conversations and in one of them, one of our mutual friends ask if she’s going to Buffalo Wild Wings after the game(which we go together all the time) and she says no because she’s tired. Later that night, I receive a snap from her, where I can clearly see she is at said restaurant. I know her and I can almost confidently say she said something about me there, given that she lied about not going and didn’t’t invite me. Since then, interactions have minimized to a daily snap to keep our streak and nothing more. My mom thinks it’s because she’s waiting for me to apologize but I’m not going to say sorry because her ego was tainted and she chose to take that out on me. I see her tomorrow at school, what do I do if she keeps ignoring me or asks why I’m upset? AITA?
\*if u don’t know, Apush = ap us history
She clearly is jealous that you got a better score than her. In my opinion I think she uses you to make yourself feel better. I’m sure in her world you will always be the sidekick who can never be the hero. When you do, she tries to put you back into your sidekick role. I think it’s time you put boundaries on yourself and her, and find better friends who appreciate you more than this person.
Congratulations! If you consistently (or even generally) get better grades than your friend(s), it would be better to stop comparing grades. You come across (to her) as bragging. I know this because I used to do the same thing in school. Think of grades like money — it is considered impolite to compare how much you earn.
For real? You’re really young, so please know this is a very gentle YTA. Your friend got a bad score. You laughed. That’s thoughtless and can come across as smug or rubbing it in even if you don’t mean it that way. (You add that she never supports you, but she didn’t say she supports you, btw, she just said that she doesn’t laugh when you get a bad score. You DID laugh.) Later when she told your mutual friend she wasn’t happy about when she took it, you chimed in to reiterate that you did well so you were fine with it.
She may be annoying or petty or any of that — but you still weren’t kind or sympathetic, and when she pointed it out you upped the ante. If you want the moral higher ground, you need to apologize for your part in this. And next time put yourself in other people’s shoes.
is this fanfiction or did your apush teacher actually talk shit about your friend😭😭
Yeah that teacher shouldn’t be teaching….
don’t mean this in a rude way, but that last line wasn’t really necessary. I get your point, and I’ve experienced both perspectives before. While I do think her reaction afterward was a bit unnecessary, I still believe you should try apologizing and talking things through with her. If she continues acting that way, then creating some distance might be the healthiest option.
YTA
She told you she didn’t laugh when you got a bad grade and you admitted you don’t then tried to spin it because “she doesn’t comfort you”. Ok well you laugh at her and also don’t comfort her. Your still worse. You were a sour winner and no one likes being around one of those. If you want to keep this friendship I suggest removing the giant chip off your shoulder because once you turn 18 that attitude isn’t going to fly in the adult world. Your going to fall right from your high horse onto your face.
ESH, your bestf a little more icl. While it was ok until the “oh” part , the reply to your mutual friend; where you said ‘well I did good, so I’m fine’ just seems insensitive to the situation. I don’t want to sound too deep, and maybe it didn’t to you in the moment, but it could’ve helped if you would’ve remained silent in the moment or atleast gotten rid of the slight ‘I’m better than you’ tone. Often times, I prefer to shut up when it comes to things like this. A simple, “yeah!” Wouldn’t have hurt. The whole part, atleast to me, came off as if, you’re simply trying to boast about your achievement and playing the blind eye to your friend’s bad score. It’s not hard to tone down your excitement. Often times, when someone is disappointed in their own score, self praise can come off passive aggressive – somewhat of a ‘you’re so dumb, I’m better than you’. And I’m saying this as a person who’s been on both sides of the argument.
Now while you suck here, your bestf could’ve simple just came up to you and articulated her feelings instead of acting passive aggressive. Fyi, she’s not your bestf, if she is acting like that because of an incident so minor. The whole restaurant thing just seems so silly and incredibly childish of her, she needs to grow up. While she is within her rights to be upset for a while, it’s immature on her end to play these games. I would’ve personally just shrugged it off, because if it’s my bestf , I’ll atleast try to be happy for her. And to me, it won’t be as deep. But I can see why she’d be upset.
You both need to be kinder to eachother, her a lot more.
ESH but that’s okay. A good friend should celebrate their friends’ wins and comfort their friends during hard times, and neither of you did that. If you want to keep being best friends with her, you might want to apologize for not being sympathetic. Getting a bad test grade sucks, especially if you’re not used to it, which may be the case because APUSH is most likely the hardest class you/her have had to take thus far. It’s very common for people to see their failures as proof of identity (i.e., I failed this exam therefore I am stupid and incapable), so I can see why she reacted the way she did. That being said, the way she reacted was not okay at all. I also think you’d benefit by reiterating to her that your intention wasn’t to brag about your score, rather share your accomplishment with your her because she’s your best friend and a big aspect of being friends is being clued into each others’ lives.
Good job on your 90, and you deserve to be proud, but rubbing it in everyone’s face is a bit much. I’m an AP student as well, and in AP classes, there’s always the kids who want everyone to know what score they got and how much better they are than you. “You got a 91? Oh that sucks, I got a 94.” It’s difficult to be happy for them when they’re constantly bragging. I know you were seeking praise/admiration from your friend, but this is not the way to go about it. I think if you were a little more humble and receptive to her feelings, there wouldn’t have been an issue. I know you don’t want to swallow your pride, but I think it’s best to just apologize. Just say sorry, and if you explain your side a bit, she might apologize as well. This is very trivial and not worth fighting over, and the longer you go without mending things, the more damage it will cause to your friendship. Arguments at our age are usually quite stupid and easily fixed.
ESH why is your APUSH teacher engaging in highschool drama?
Your premise is wrong. You’re not an asshole because you aren’t apologizing for doing better, doing better isn’t the problem. YTA for not apologizing for bragging, laughing, and doubling down by basically saying “I did well so sucks to suck.”
Your friend is waiting for you to apologize. If you want to be their friend, you should.