(short disclaimer)
hi, im familiar with AITA stories/posts but this is my first time posting so please bear with me..
me and my friend are into collecting funko pops.. we usually send each other photos of any funko pop we just bought and help each other out to find a model that we wanted to have..
one time, i mentioned that i wanted the wanda vs agatha funko pop (for reference: WandaVision 1075).. its a special edition funko and i wanted it because those 2 were my fave characters.. but i said that it wasnt my priority at the moment because it was too expensive for me, and it wasnt available on physical stores in my area and is also hard to find online.. i dont think i mentioned about it again..
a few days ago, my friend messaged me and said "hey, ive got a gift for you.. i managed to find the wanda vs agatha funko and bought it, just pay the shipping fee" i was shocked.. (my friend was kind of rich, he would pretty much splurge on limited/special edition collectibles, meanwhile i would only buy the regular ones, sometimes even think if i really deserve to buy it..) so i did thank him, but when i asked how much the shipping fee was, he said it cost 1000+ php (around 18 USD).. i was shocked.. usually, shipping for these items would cost only around 200-300 php (3-5 USD).. so i had a lot of mixed feelings at that moment because of course, i was very thankful for the gift, but also got a bit annoyed because of the amount i had to pay..
i didnt want to pay for it for a couple of reasons.. 1. im the type of person who budgets/computes/saves my money.. so spending a lot of money on something unexpected threw me off, 2. i have an upcoming birthday trip, and 3. i recently bought a nintendo switch, which hasnt been fully paid yet.. so currently, im on a really tight budget.. so yeah, i hope you get the point why i didnt want to spend on shipping fee for a gift that will be given to me, especially since its not a priority for me now…
so, AITA?
NTA. Regardless of the amount of money involved, it’s tacky as hell to ask someone to pay for any part of a gift.
Had they said, “hey, I found this–I’d be happy to pass it on if you pay for shipping,” that’d be totally different. But calling it a gift and then adding a condition is so rude.
Don’t pay it ans don’t accept the gift, what is the big deal here? YTA for turning this into something larger than it is.
Could have easily said appreciate the jester but cannot accept it since I don’t have the money for the shipping. Idk something like that. Problem solved.
NTA. If it’s a gift, you shouldn’t have to pay anything.
NTA – It’s rude of him to ask whether it’s $18 or $3. I would just say that you don’t want to pay the shipping and it’s ok if he doesn’t get it for you.
NTA – But do you want this item? Your friend might want to send with a carrier that is close to him, and he might not care about the price. If you want this item, maybe you could ask him if he could send the item through a shipping company that’s cheaper than the one he plans to. Is it possible that he’s factoring the price he paid for the item into this too?
I agree he’s forcing a gift on you in a way, but you don’t have to accept it. However, it might make the friendship awkward. If you want the item and are willing to pay for it, then ask him to hang onto it until you have the money. You’re being honest, and you’ll ultimately get the item.
NTA.
That said, I don’t know the cost of the Funko normally, so if the $18 for shipping is less than the Funko and you wouldn’t otherwise be able to get it and you can wiggle your budget a little to make it work, I might go ahead and pay the shipping if this is a Funko you really want but also tell your friend while you really appreciate him finding this for you, your budget it too tight to have an extra $18 tossed into it. So in the future you are going to have to turn down things like this.
NTA. Just tell him you’re sorry, but the shipping fee is out of your budget for the foreseeable future. You appreciate the thought behind it, but just don’t have the money.
If he’s truly well-off, he might send it to you anyway. If he gets butthurt that you have to refuse his “gift” (the cost of a gift is supposed to be borne by the giver, not the recipient!), maybe he’s not the good friend you thought he was.
ESH.
You for not just communicating this with him. Just thank him and say you can’t afford the fee.
And him for not having the shipping handled himself/ looking for cheaper options.
NTA. Tell your friend to not buy you anything next time without telling you, if the catch involves you dishing out money for your own gift.
I don’t know if you ever visit this friend but I’d thank him and ask him to hold it for you til you see or meet up with him as the shipping is not in the budget right now. He may just send it along – or not.