I have a close female friend (41F). About 2 months ago she started dating a guy (46M); she shared a lot of detail and their conversation with me daily. I think she treats the guy very badly, and I afraid that he might leave if she behaves that way. She said it’s her tactic to control her man.
After all, her tactics don’t work. The guy now disappeared and ghosted her. She is now very resentful, asking me if she did anything wrong.
In my opinion, she did everything wrong; that’s not how a girlfriend should behave.
For example:
\- They are already in a committed relationship. But she does not allow the man to ‘touch’ her, not even to hug or hold hands. She said those are ‘rewards’ for the man; he has to earn them.
\- She only agrees to meet once every two weeks. The reason is she has been single for so long (a few years), and she is not used to dating so frequently.
\- She requested the man to buy her a lot of stuff and went to expensive restaurants… but never showed any appreciation, only complaints that he is doing ‘not good enough.’- She always shows up late for 1-2 hours when dating the guy. She said it’s to prove her importance and make her difficult to achieve.
\- She gained 8 kg during 2 months, and she blamed the guy.
I had asked my boyfriend’s opinion, and he agrees with me; he said no man wants to have such a girlfriend.
I want to tell my friend my honest thought, that she should not treat men like that; otherwise, she might ruin her future relationship too.
However, I don’t think she would appreciate my advice; I think she only wants reassurance from me, such as telling her, ‘You are so wonderful; the man is just a dumbass who doesn’t deserve you.’
As a friend, should I just comfort her? AITA for giving my honest opinion?
NTA. That whole “treat’em mean, keep’’em keen” thing is bullshit.
I’d say someone with this level of delusion needs to be told the truth although I can’t imagine how you’re actually friends with this person because I can’t imagine her being this shitty to men and then being a great friend.
YWNBTA
Definitely tell her. You’d technically be lying if you went for the support.
NTA
No way this incel bullet list of a post is real
I was half expecting “She said he should be over 6 feet tall and have a 7-digit salary.”
She needs to be told how awful she’s acting. And if that was not wake her up then she must like short term treatment. He deserves someone that will reciprocate
I’m pretty sure she will be single for the rest of her life
ROFL this list sounds like 80th mean girl dating advice.
May still work on teenagers but i am glad a 46yo guy isn’t taking this crap.
NTA
She asked if she did anything wrong. She *asked*. NTA
Ask her what she’s bringing to the table.
How does she justify being a distant, demanding, complainer?
A friend tells you what you want to hear, a good friend tells you what you need to hear.
Is that the same friend of your other posts? The one trying to make your BF get things for her? Well this friend is broken get a new one. Seriously why are you friends with that woman? She sounds awful. She’s manipulative and draining and overall not a nice person.
NTA
There’s playing hard to get… and then there’s just treating your date like actual garbage till they give up. NTA
What in incel fanfic is this post?