Mom (52) me F22
For context, my mom has serious mental illness + executive dysfunction and struggles to take care of herself, she hasn’t had a job longer than a few months at a time, and mostly relies on welfare/freelance and delivery gigs to get by. Since I was 11 she has moved nearly every year due to eviction or financial issues with landlords.
She had come into almost 100k in 2021, and by 2024 it was completely spent on shopping, cosmetic surgeries, eating out etc. She has spent most of her life struggling with debt, and growing up my dad kept my social security number frozen to keep her from trying to use it.
In the past she had overdrawn my credit card and my bank account for gas in her car, plus random spending on things she wanted.
In 2024 my mom had no choice but to move back to our hometown after coming into some financial difficulty, but I had just started a new internship and was going to vocational school and couldn’t afford to leave the city we were in. So I moved into a shelter and she left for our hometown.
During the first month or so of living on my own in the shelter, my mom contacted me and said that because of a previous debt she had with the power company, she couldn’t get her electricity in her name at her new apartment. She asked me if she could use my name and social to get the electricity going, and I told her no. She was angry but I stayed firm and didn’t hear from her about it again.
Fast forward around 6 months, I’m finished with school, fresh out of a job and nowhere to stay.I can’t find a job, and I don’t have enough saved, so I pack my car and move back to my hometown with my mom.
Around a month after moving in with her, I’m saving money to get into my first apartment when she confesses to me that she put the electricity in my name, and it’s past due almost $800 and she can’t pay it. Now we have about two weeks to come up with it or there’s no power. I was livid. I still don’t know how she got my social, I’m assuming she’s always had a copy. I call the electric company and work out an extension. I let her know she needs to get it paid and get the electric in her name before I move out.
Eventually the electricity gets cut, and she gets evicted (which I later found out wasn’t in her name) and I move across town with my boyfriend. After losing my job and nearly my life in a mental crisis, I decided to go back to school full time. The electric company agrees to remove part of my mom’s debt but can’t remove it all due to my living with her at some point.
She agrees to pay part of the bill, but never followed through and the little amount that we could pay wasn’t enough to keep service on and now our electricity is off. She continues to lie that she will help and she will pay it, after asking some friends I decided to file a report for identity theft to possibly get my lights back on. My little brother and sister text me furious telling me how evil of a child I am for filing against her. AITA?
Further info:
I start my first semester in less than a week, and me and bf are living off of cold canned ravioli atm. His parents are trying to help us where they can, but the bill is almost $1,100. My mom is still texting me saying she’s going to meet with us to go to more churches later this week, but I doubt that’s going to happen.
Just because they gave birth to you doesn’t mean you owe them shit. People only learn when they are forced, this is a necessary lesson for her to learn.
My mom started a utility in my name in Thomasville GA when I was 17 never stepped foot in her home now I owe thousands and she is dead. Just to let you know how some people roll
File a police report of identity theft. Get the police report number and then use that when you talk to the credit bureaus and the power company telling them that YOU do not owe the money, you want it OFF your record. Tell them to bill her estate, or her husband if he was living there with her. You were not.
Nta your mom is a piece of shir. If she’s legitimately mentally ill then she needs to be committed
I’d contact the power company again and let them know you have a police report now that states that bill was due to identity theft.
NTA. Next time your siblings get in touch to tell you how evil you are I suggest you ask them to cover the bill your mum has racked up in your name. See how quickly they go quiet after that….
NTA, if you don’t do something about it now she will continue to do it.
You have no choice. You need to do it to protect your identity and you need to take further steps to protect yourself. I guarantee you this isn’t the only thing. Run a credit check on yourself and speak to the credit reporting agencies on what else you can do to protect yourself. Go no contact with your toxic family
NTA she will eventually ruin your siblings credit as well. Then they will see what it’s like.
NTA- CLASSIC narcissistic behavior. Twice this week I’ve said they should right a book on their key takeaway behaviors
NTA. Honestly, you should have filed a long time ago. Tell your siblings if they are so concerned that THEY can help her sort things out. Go no contact if you have to.
Egad!
You can prevent future problems by getting a FREEZE at all the credit reporting agencies:
It stops everyone – including you. YOU can UNFREEZE your report whenever you decide to apply for a CC, loan, etc. You will need to request a FREEZE at all of the credit bureaus:
The Big Three:
https://www.equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services/
https://www.experian.com/freeze/center.html
https://www.transunion.com/credit-freeze
The Little Four; lesser known, but still worth the FREEZE effort:
https://www.innovis.com/personal/securityFreeze
https://www.chexsystems.com/security-freeze/place-freeze
https://consumer.risk.lexisnexis.com/img/Security_Freeze_Instructions.pdf
Early Warning Sys; AKA: EWS: 800-745-1560
https://www.earlywarning.com/sites/default/files/2025-06/Early-Warning_Sample-File-Disclosure_1.pdf
NTA.
You HAD TO file a report. You’ve shown your mom so much grace. Now, check your credit and lock it. YOU HAVE TO. You don’t have a choice.
Your credit is being destroyed. It is easy to tear it down but takes forever to build it back up.
As a mom, our job is to prepare you for adulthood and set you up for success. We should guide you and warn you of any obstacles and consequences if your choices. We should praise you, hype you up, and build you up. I am so sorry she has done the exact opposite for you.
Please put yourself first. Check your credit (it is free to do). Lock it down.
I wish you the best!