Drama in a long term friend group. Friend A made some decisions that led to her losing her partner and several friends within a few weeks. I supported her the whole time, acknowledging that she did have fault and that she needed to think more before acting. Not long after, she said some pretty nasty things to me. When I told her that her behavior toward me was unacceptable, she responded that I should have “picked an audience instead of a friendship.”
I tried multiple times over several weeks to talk things through and fix things. Explained why I was hurt. She wouldn’t apologize initially. When she eventually did, it was weeks later. And she didn’t put any effort into repairing the damage. But she did try to push me to hang out and act like things are normal. So I just haven’t responded and it’s been like two months. At this point, I don’t know if there is a path forward.
Another friend (Friend B) acknowledged that Friend A was wrong, but that Friend A didn’t understand why she was wrong and that people should be allowed to express their emotions however they want. That didn’t sit right with me, so I chose to distance myself from that friendship as well.
Since all this happened, I’ve been putting more energy into work and my financial future.
I didn’t formally end any friendships. I just stopped engaging and created distance.
AITA for disengaging instead of continuing to try?
If she can express her emotions however she wants, then surely you can express yours by distancing yourself? It all sounds more effort than friend A deserves.
NTA. You need to do what’s best for you and your friend didn’t sound much of a friend
NTA, you’re not her punching bag, she is allowed to express her emotions but if her way to do it push everyone away maybe she should seek therapy to fix her issues.
Oh believe me, she’s in therapy. She’ll make sure you know that it makes her more emotionally mature than you too
Noooo NTA. Sometimes, you just outgrow your friends. It’s natural. It could be from personal growth, having different values, different life paths created a disconnect, the friendship isn’t as fulfilling as it used to be… etc. You realized this group of people weren’t doing you any good anymore and quietly created distance which I think is very mature.
NTA. If she were a good friend, she would welcome your constructive feedback. Sounds like she didn’t want to hear the feedback and didn’t want to address how she treated you badly. It doesn’t seem worth the trouble. Focus on your sanity and meet some new people.
People should be allowed to express themselves however they want, but there are consequences. If you dont like the way they express themselves, you’re free to dump them.
NTA
NTA, this might turn out to be a blessing in disguise