So my roomie is generally an allright guy, he’s fallen on some hard times lately financially and i’ve been covering all of our groceries for the last two months or so. To cut a long story short, he made some lasagna a couple days ago, ate most of it, and stored leftovers in the fridge. I came home one night pretty spent and i figured the guy would not mind if i had some of his leftovers, NOPE, he was furious and went off on a rant about how he can’t be expected to cook for two people and how he can’t manage to cook another big meal for the week,…idk i kinda tuned out at one point and half heartedly apologised and went to my room. I didn’t even bring up the fact that i paid for the ingredients, i dont even mind that part to be honest, i just figured eating some leftovers wouldn’t be such a big deal…watcha guys think?
You are NTA, but this means you are cutting off support. If I was on hard times and a friend was helping me out by covering for groceries, I would be more than happy to cook to show my appreciation.
was just thinking this, if someone was offering to pay for my groceries i’d be asking them what meals they wanted for each week so i could make sure they were all cooked for them, or at least if i made a batch of something i’d be saying ‘hey i’ve made some of this that’s in the fridge, help yourself’
I wouldn’t dream of getting annoyed at them for eating the same food that they paid for
Since you’ve been covering 100% of the groceries for two months (which is generous as hell during his hard times), a portion of the lasagna made from your ingredients would be fair game as leftovers.
That’s a reasonable assumption in most roommate setups where one person is basically subsidizing the household food.
NTA. In fact I would kill to be in a situation where I got free food and the only catch is I have to cook.
He’s a roommate not a friend. Stop treating him like a friend and buy groceries for yourself.
Going to go against the grain here and say YTA. You should have asked. If they are low on money, then they might have made extra to plan on taking the for lunch. Or knew they had long shifts etc. that they had to do the next day, so they made extra.
You should have a conversation, and ask them to make you extra sometimes because your footing all the groceries.
It was wrong to just take it, and you kinda knew that, and then your back tracking going but I purchased all the groceries. But if the accommodation is that they cook for you, that should be discussed.
It wasn’t groceries you ate but cooked food. He doesn’t want to cook for two . You don’t have to buy food for two either. Super soft YTA, he transformed it by cooking it, and you bought the groceries for him to eat, then took them back once he prepared it.
Nta.
Dont pay for his things.
Maybe you should have asked, but that would be the end of letting him have any of my groceries.
Actions have consequences. NTA
ESH – since you’re buying, it would be nice if he cooked for you. It’s also nice if you let him know/ask.
I think the best way to move forward is to sit down and talk about what you expect to happen while you’re paying for groceries. Is he expected to pay you back? If not, then I think you should come to some sort of agreement like: I want one or two cooked meals a day in exchange for buying your food, which feels fair to me.
He can’t expect to get all of the benefit out of the exchange and you get nothing.
NTA and stop covering his groceries.
ESH. You’re helping him out of kindness, that doesn’t entitle you to the meals that he’s cooked. If you want to make it more transactional and you want to get something in return, that’s your prerogative, but then y’all have to agree on that. At the same time, his reaction is out of proportion, rude, and ungrateful. He should have shown you some grace, especially in the face of the kindness you’ve shown.
NAH. You guys need to have a conversation about sharing food/kitchen. Buying groceries is $$$, cooking is taxing. I don’t think there are any right answers about how you divide cost/labor but you do need to have a conversation and come to an agreement.
ESH
communicate with this person before seeking a judgment.