We went on a date yesterday and noticed that her dark circles are getting deeper. I asked her that if she is getting enough sleep or stressed in her academics (Tourism student). I asked this question out of concern because i (Engineering student) as well encountered countless nights without sleep and it is very common for us-to discuss that topic. I didn’t realize that this is the reason why she suddenly not in the mood and thought something came up. We parted ways after that. Did i became over sensitive? I just asked that out of concern.
Have you considered that the dark circles are just more visible because it is winter and her skin is getting paler?
(Or do you live somewhere sunny?)
You posted this same story 42 days ago. Still YTA
Most people don’t want negative things, like bags under their eyes, pointed out.
Especially on a DATE.
What does “10 second rule” mean in this context?
The only 10-second rule that I think might apply here is that if you feel like you should point out something about someone’s appearance, ask yourself: Can they fix it in 10 seconds or less? If so, bring it up. If not, leave it alone.
Example: Tell someone they have toilet paper stuck to their shoe. Do not tell someone that they should’ve worn a different shirt to this party.
I am going to assume it’s that idea where if someone can’t fix something about their physical appearance within 10 seconds you shouldn’t mention it? Like, pointing out food in someone’s teeth can be fixed but, say, dark circles under your eyes can’t because they are due to lack of sleep or sometimes just genetic.
As someone who has dark circles naturally, gentle YTA. They get darker over things like migraines and allergies, as well as other environmental factors. I have tried everything and nothing worked. I was super self conscious about it in my teens and 20s, and if a partner had said they looked worse I would have been so embarrassed. I know tv says dark circles are because of sleep, but there are so many factors for having them.
Asking about school and if she’s getting enough sleep is fine, asking about the circles under her eyes is not the kindest thing you could do.
“I said something tactless about my partner’s physical appearance, AITA” – seriously? YTA.
A mix for me, you could’ve just asked how’s she sleeping, or how she’s doing, without directly pointing out something like that. I’m gonna go with YTA. You didn’t approach that situation very well OP.
How did you go on a date “yesterday” when this same story was posted by you a month ago? YTA then and double that now.
What do you mean parted ways? Parted ways for the evening or broke up?
YTA. This is absolutely a situation where the 10-second rule applies, and under eye circles can’t be fixed in 10 seconds. It’s not the biggest faux pas you could’ve committed, but you basically said, “Hey, you look awful. Are you ok?” instead of “Hey, are you ok?”
YTA
I get all the sleep I need and still have dark circles under my eyes. You could have asked how she’s doing without saying something negative about her appearance.
Comments like this just make people self-conscious, and are completely unnecessary.