My mom died last year. My cousin, (C) (m,53) was living with my mom when she died. There was a financial arrangement made, when my mom died, with another cousin (B). The arrangement was that "B covers my mom’s mortgage, and any utilities C uses." B just called and said she can’t continue with the arrangement.
C doesn’t work, has little work history. Just filed for SSI. B said to take him to a homeless shelter. Another cousin (D) advised to give him a date and tell him he has to start paying by or get out by 4/1/25.
Don’t get the wrong idea about C. He is loving, smart, and reliable. He is different, disabled and needs a patient hand to help him.
I don’t know what to do. I have to pay the mortgage regardless, until it’s sold, we are still in Probate. This won’t be easy on us. We can barely afford what we have now. My husband wants us to take C on financially. Even after we sell the house.
So WIBTA if I kicked my cousin out?
How disabled are we talking? It makes a huge difference if it’s severe enough that he needs a guardian or care taker.
Can’t drive. Walks with a cane. Special diet. Allergies.
NTA then.
It sounds like he’s capable of working and taking care of himself but has been mooching instead.
As someone who has dealt with the disability process I encourage you to look up your state’s official dialing conditions and see if he even qualifies they are extremely strict. If he has none of the listed things tell him to get a job bc they won’t approve him with out multiple failed job attempts with a big fat wad of papers from maneragers doctors explaining exactly how it prevents him from working
It sounds like no matter what no one can afford the house so you wouldn’t be the AH to kick him out.
Now taking on C financially is a decison that only you and your husband can make depending on a variety of factors.
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re not wrong for feeling overwhelmed.
C being kind and disabled doesn’t automatically make you financially responsible for him, especially when you’re already stretched thin and dealing with probate and grief. B backing out is unfortunate, but that doesn’t mean the burden now falls on you for life.
Cousin D’s suggestion sounds like the most reasonable middle ground. Give clear notice, help him with SSI and social services, and look into supported or subsidized housing. That’s compassion with boundaries.
Wanting to help doesn’t mean sacrificing your own financial stability or marriage. There’s a big difference between support and taking on permanent responsibility, and it’s okay to acknowledge that.
This is a really good answer. It’s disappointing that he’s applying for SSI now, if he could have been contributing to shared expenses that way.
NTA even if you allow him to move in with you there is no reason he can’t get a pt job to take on some of his expenses.
INFO: is your cousin approved for disability or did he just apply? Bc it takes years to get on disability it is not instant.