My BF (23M) and I (21M) live in an apartment together, and we often host get-togethers with his high school friend and her boyfriend. This past week, we were invited to spend the night at their place, and my BF has been super excited to go; however, I work a somewhat strenuous retail job and have a shift at 8am the next morning, and am concerned about making it to work on time. My work’s attendance policy is pretty unforgiving and I cannot afford to be late to anymore shifts.
My BF is arguing that we could either leave early in the morning (around 6:30AM) to get me to work on time, or I could drive the two of us home late at night (I don’t drink) so I can wake up the next morning and get to work. I can drive but don’t like to, and driving late at night feels a little scary.
I feel incredibly bad for letting him down like this because he really wants me to come along. If things go right, there shouldn’t be an issue with getting to work on time, but the uncertainty that something could go wrong the morning of really makes me anxious to attend. I’m typically pretty dodgy when it comes to getting ready in a timely manner and want to give myself enough leeway to avoid any fuckups.
NAH but surely there is a compromise. Go until midnight then come home or something. He can stay the night in his own. Then your routine isn’t interrupted and you still had some fun with them.
Yeah this is the way. Maybe OP can convince her bf to not drink and he can drive them back late instead.
NTA. You’re trying to be a responsible adult and he can go hang with friends on his own.
NAH just dont go
But is your issue with driving why your late frequently?
Oh, no. I have an electric scooter that I ride into work. My workplace is a 5 minute ride away and the travel itself isn’t the issue
NTA, though it’s close to N A H. Is there another night they could schedule this? Why is your bf so excited, is it a particular event or special occasion? I would think if it’s just to hang out, they could accommodate a different night so you can relax and have fun too
I would try to reschedule to a weekend… You are NTA
Ehh unless it’s a very common occurrence, I think these are concessions you should make.
Driving at night isn’t as easy as driving in th day, but it’s also not by any means the end of the world. And this is coming from someone who doesn’t like driving and gets a little anxious about it.
Asking you to do this often would be too much. But once in a while making small concessions to make your partner happy is nice.
NTA – you’ve got other priorities that day and realistically you can’t make it. It’s a shame that your boyfriend will be upset but I’m sure he’ll survive for one night 😅
NAH. I mean, I don’t think there’s any real risk of you not making it to work. It’s just that you don’t want to drive at night and wouldn’t get enough sleep and you don’t want to go. And that’s ok, you don’t have to. He can go without you.
Sounds like the anxiety is much greater than your excitement for the event. Would it be an emotional-regulation sacrifice to attend? Can he go alone?
NTA. Go with your gut. If you’re late you’ll regret it and it’ll only be your fault. They won’t feel consequences, you will. This is part of adulting. Never let anyone choose your mistakes. Make your own. This ain’t it.
NAH. It makes sense that he wants you there to have fun. It also makes sense that you cannot risk your job. Waking up at 6am after a sleepover is a recipe for disaster with a strict boss. Driving late at night when you are uncomfortable is also a bad idea. Just let him go have a good time solo. You get your rest and he gets his friend time. It is okay to do things separately.