I 19f have a brother 17m who has a boyfriend and they’re going to their school formal together next week.
He asked our parents if his boyfriend can stay over at the house after the after party and she said no, his boyfriend asked their parents and they said no too.
The hotel they’re doing the formal at is right next to my accommodation building (with the after party at some function rooms right next as well), that I’m not using because classes don’t start for another 2 weeks. So I said to them honestly if you’s wanted somewhere to go after you can use my room. They’re both respectful people think they just want somewhere to hang out after together. Said I’ll let them have my key on the day just as long as they leave it clean I don’t mind. Plus kitchen should be empty because no one’s there because no classes
They’re very happy with that, but when our parents found out both my mum and dad started having a go at me for it. Saying it’s something I should’ve spoke to them first about it and asked am I not worried about it but I don’t see what I have to be worried about they’re like I said both sensible people and the reason they had not to let him stay was not wanting to deal with any noise so if that was the only problem then I don’t see how I wasn’t just helping.
They’re letting it happen but reluctantly and said if I asked first they would’ve said no, but I don’t even think that’s true because they’d be saying no now then they’re not that soft. I think they’re just saying that because I proposed it before speaking to them so they’re making a bigger deal when in reality they would’ve said yes.
Which again I don’t think I was wrong to suggest this to my brother before my parents, he’s basically an adult and they didn’t actually give me any real concerns as to why this is a bad idea. They let my brother go to an Airbnb trip with friends over Christmas so by comparison I didn’t see the need to think they couldn’t do this.
NTA. I am so happy that your brother has your support and trust.
NAH
Your parents are treating their child like a child (and not being homophobic about it thankfully) which is fine to do, and you’re treating your brother like an equal. Y’all are both fine. Don’t let your parents bring you down.
Your brother is going to be the longest relationship you have in your whole life. Caring for each other and respecting each other is great for both of you. Keep doing what you’re doing imo.
I think it’s lovely of you. I would offer the same under the same circumstances.
NTA. It’s not under their roof, so their opinion doesn’t really matter here tbh. It’s not like you let them have your room in their house. Plus they’re 17, they’ll find a way anyway so at least you’re providing a place where they will be safe!
NTA.
You can offer your place to whomever you want. Your parents still have the ability to say “no.” It would be different if this all happened completely behind your parents’ backs, but that isn’t the situation.
If the parents want to prevent them from staying together for a night then they can say so to them instead of reprimanding you behind their backs. They can say no to them staying at your place if it bothers them, but they never said that and haven’t said that up to this point. So NTA.
wait wtf so you’re giving them your room…
not in bf’s parents house
not in YOUR parents house
you’re saving them money, giving them a place to hsng and to sleep, i don’t understand at all why anyone has a problem with this??? like what
nta. your parents are tho. you’re a good sister.
You’re not an AH. You offered a solution to the problem, your paeents can still say no. If you were sneaking and going behind their backs, it would be another story, but even then thats the older siblings job. Not like you’re teaching them to roll blunts and providing alcohol. Youre just providing them a safe place to hangout.
NTA – you’re a great sister
NTA – That’s a thoughtful thing to do
They are both over the age of consent. In a relationship. And as long as they are respectful of your space (tidy up afterwards) there is no issue.
You are being a good sister. And it’s not up to your parents to tell you what to do with your flat, that you pay for.
NTA. Reminds me of when I was young (and gay) and my mum and dad booked a room for me my boyfriend my sister and her husband (large room). The room had a double bed and two singles. My sister being feisty took the singles for her and her husband the look on dads face when he popped in and we were in the double. Lol.
The only thing I’d worry about is if you’re allowed to do this according to your landlord/building. The way you word this sounds like this may be a college/university residence building, and they may have strict rules about you having guests, or giving your key to someone else and allowing them to stay there.