Im a university student and going into 2nd year in 2026. student housing from the uni is 1st year only and so people going into 2nd year need to share with people. i joined a group with my friends early december whivh consisted of 3 people. over the course of december there was no interest in housing due to one of them not having a job. and struggling to get one. and 3 just isnt enough to split the cost
i got the chance yesterday to join another group who had it all sorted out, a group of 3 who needed two more but they had a house ready and reserved waiting if they got the two people
. i jumped ship and decided to go with them but i also invited the other friend along as there was one more space ( the other one who has a job) . in doing so i left the one without a job, without any housing plans.
i want to give some context about this person to why i feel bad.
he has no friends. the 2 groups weve been apart of he has made every specifically females uncomfortable around him. he has a no friends from secondry/sixthform. and is diffivult to be around. i fear he wont get anyone to share with him as me who deals with him didnt really want to either. i also fear that i wont be friends with him for much longer as he has started making me uncomfortable too with things he has done/said. but i feel bad leaving him with no plan B as i sont know if he will be able to get housing which is very scary i can imagine. hes done weird stuff but is this too meam of me.
am i the asshole for jumping to a ship that wasnt sinking in a sense
NTA. How can you live with someone who doesn’t have a job and isn’t taking looking for housing as seriously as you.
Housing is not something you mess around with and your in a once were you can secure yourself good housing with a group of people that seem to have similar standards as you.
As long as you have told this friend an are not leaving him hanging your nta. Let him know asap so he can prepare accordingly
NTA. Why exactly are you friends with him? If the reason is simply that no one else is, consider why. Doesn’t sound like he is a good person to know or safe if you invited a girlfriend over. Plus, realistically, why would you plan on living with someone who can’t pay rent?
You are not responsible for other’s problems, only for your own. Living in a sink-or-swim situation isn’t comfortable, but it is unfortunately the human condition.
NTA
You need to feel safe and live in a safe situation. I’m sure he knows he makes females uncomfortable. Soon as he corrects his own behavior, he’ll get a place to stay. He will manage til then. It’s his responsibility to take care of himself. His issue isn’t your problem.
You’re NTA.
NAH. You’ve been blessed with a perfect oppurtunity to untether from a friendship you’ve outgrown. If he has no job, isn’t helping look AND makes you uncomfortable, why would you want to work harder to live with him?