My husband had mild health problems and wanted to work out but has a busy schedule and there are no good gyms close to home. I used to work with a personal trainer at my office gym and I felt my husband always missed out on working out. We finally decided to convert a bedroom into a gym and I introduced my personal trainer to my husband so that he can come home and train both of us. I don’t lift very heavy and my husband does. He ordered a rack and new weights all on the heavier side and did not tell me he was ordering stuff. When the weights arrived he set them up and asked me to check them out and told me that I could use them. I mentioned to him that they won’t work for me as they are on the heavier side and that I would have liked to be included in the decision making (for the gym equipment). I was upset that he didn’t include me while ordering the new weights even though I was the one who helped him find a personal trainer, help clean out the bedroom, sell the furniture and start a home gym. He was upset that I ruined his excitement of buying the new weights with me being upset and complaining.
I get being a little peeved, but if he is lifting heavy he isn’t going to want to be putting little frisbees in his bar. Maybe he should have ordered some for you also, but I would rather pick my own since I know what I will be doing with them
I am not asking for frisbees but he should stop pretending like he did this for us. He should have just said he ordered it for him needs.
NTA. Some partnership you’ve got there.
YTA. Your husband likes to lift heavy weights. You do not. There aren’t any options for decent gyms near you, so his only option is to buy the equipment he needs – you’re mad that he didn’t get your opinion on something you won’t be using? Why would he ask for your input on something that you have no interest in using? Considering you’re both paying for a personal trainer and have set up a whole home gym worth of equipment, I can’t imagine that you’re mad about the cost.
I mean, he could just order lighter weights. I can’t lift heavy, so my husband bought a set of lighter weights specifically for me, as they’re way too light for him. I don’t think she should be that upset, but I get wanting to be included.
YTA
You’re just mad you can’t bang the personal trainer behind his back anymore
ESH
He should have included you in the decision making, as you also want to use the gym room. Both your needs must be addressed.
At the same time I don’t think it’s worth getting upset over this. Just have a talk.
YTA
YTA – You did ruin his excitement. It’s not hard to communicate that you would like lighter weights for your workouts. How hard would that have been vs causing this drama?