I (22M) just graduated and got a decent entry-level job that’s based in a major city about an hour from my hometown. I can technically work hybrid, so my parents expect me to live at home and commute a few days a week to “save money and be responsible.”
The issue is I don’t want to.
I’ve lived at home my entire life and I feel like I’m stagnating. I want to live in the city, be closer to work, meet new people, and actually feel like an adult instead of a high schooler with a paycheck. Yes, it’s more expensive. I’ve done the math. I can afford a small apartment with roommates and still save some money, just not as much as if I lived rent-free at home.
My parents are furious. They say I’m being financially irresponsible, ungrateful, and “choosing vibes over common sense.” My mom keeps saying I’m “throwing away a huge advantage” and my dad says people my age are obsessed with “city life” because of social media and ego.
They also argue that since I don’t need to live in the city, choosing to do so is basically wasting money just to prove a point. I argue that independence, mental health, and not hating my life also matter, not everything is about maximizing savings.
Now it’s turned into this moral thing where they’re acting like I’m rejecting my family or saying I’m too good for home, which isn’t true. I just don’t want to be 25 and still living in my childhood bedroom because it was “optimal.”
Some friends agree with me, others say I should suck it up for a couple years, stack cash, and stop being dramatic.
So… AITA for choosing to live in the city instead of staying home, even if it costs more and my family strongly disapproves?
NTA. As long as you can afford to live on your own, this isn’t a bad decision. You’re an adult, so it doesn’t matter how your parents feel about it.
Being a legal adult comes with the privilege of making up your own mind about where you want to live.
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. NTA
NTA
Your parents are having a hard time with you growing up, and may also be conflating love & control
An hour commute is a huge quality of life downgrade, even just a few times a week
You are giving up an opportunity for starting a nest egg, but that is your choice to make
NTA. (not the asshole) – moving out can help you grow independently & mentally. your parents’ argument about saving money is based on logic but not prioritizing your happiness and growth could be short-sighted and unfair
I think the fact that your parents are freaking out and scolding you about the very normal desire to leave the nest, is a big indicator of why you feel it’s urgent to leave the nest. If you can afford it, go be free. NTA.
NTA you’re an adult do whatever you want
You are at an age where you are becoming a truly independent adult. You dont have to listen to your parents anymore. Your only priority is yourself, you are 100% correct that you should be living independently if you are able and want to.
I doesn’t matter if it pisses your parents off, you are an adult!
Edit: NTA!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being independent. Your parents just don’t want you to leave.
NTA. You’re an adult. It’s not surprising that you want independence, particularly given the way your parents second guess you and want to run your life. You sound pretty level-headed and it seems as if you’ve thought through this decision. Save money? This is what the money is for! Go live your life.
NTA – at all – you are an adult wanting to live like one.
NTA. It sounds like you’re making very responsible and thoughtful choices, for very valid reasons.
Sometimes saving a few bucks right now isn’t actually the best long-term choice, and you are never required to hold frugality as your highest value, even if it is something you do value.
If you stayed home, your parents would probably just start charging you rent to make it harder for you to save money and eventually leave. NTA
They sound as though they’re panicking because you’re breaking free of their iron grasp.