I work for a large organization that brings on interns, and over the years I have gotten most of (but not all) my nieces and nephews interviews. They are never guaranteed spots. All I do is get them in the interview pile.
My nephew is graduating. His mom (my SIL) asked me about the internship, and I told her that Eric needs to be the one to reach out to me. When he finally came to me, it was obvious he was just doing it because she told him to. He did not seem interested, and if I am honest, the way he speaks is childish. It’s all braindead “bruh” “fam” tiktok speak. He could not articulate WHY he wanted the internship.
I told him that if he really wants this, I need him to show me, and asked him to write me a brief note giving me the reasons he wanted the internship and what he planned on doing with the experience. I was surprised he sent me anything at all, but when I read it, it was obviously generated. I told him that I could not put in a good word for him because he could not even do the bare minimum.
He had a complete meltdown over it, telling me that I was being unfair and that no one these days actually writes stuff like this. His mom came at me too saying the same things. I told them both that I’m not going to risk my own reputation. I asked him, point blank, WHY do you want this internship? “I dunno”
My brother made the case that my nephew had struggled during the pandemic, the academic landscape has changed, and he needs someone to give him a chance to show what he can do. And that years ago, someone had given me a chance despite not being a straight A student, which is true. Part of me thinks I should get him an interview just so he can see how unprepared he is, but I know that would be a mean thing to do.
Am I wrong to not get him an interview? Is this just how kids are these days?
NTA, he didn’t put in the effort to even ask you for the interview.
My initial advice was just to get him the interview to let him mess it up himself, but you have to think about how that would reflect onto your professional career
NTA, you ARE giving him a chance to show what he can do. The problem is that he’s not willing to do what it takes to take advantage of that chance.
I am curious, how much older is the last niece/nephew that you helped?
She graduated two years ago, and she did get one of the internship spots.
So he REALLY can’t blame it on “how it is these days.” Because she’s only 2 years older, and she had the necessary skills.
(honestly, it’s a stupid excuse me, no matter what, but this just makes him look even worse)
NTA. In my experience, this *is* just the way kids are, but giving them a pass for it won’t be doing them any favors.
Your nephew doesn’t want the internship and has no drive to improve himself. If the lockdowns are the reason, they’re not an excuse. It’s up to him to put in the work to be considered, not on the adults around him to coddle him for it. Don’t risk your reputation because your brother and his wife are setting their son up for failure.
NTA. You reputation in the company is at the stakes. If he can’t tell you why he want the internetship, these means he doesn’t want it.
This is not a hard question, you don’t need to be very smart to answer that question, even a just because mom said so, would be better than i dunno.
NTA
Never risk your reputation for someone undeserving.
The pandemic has been over for years.
Yes, someone gave you a chance years ago. Did you at least put in some effort for and with that chance?
He obviously failed to put in any effort to get the chance. Do you really think he would succeed and actively participate if he was provided the opportunity?
You don’t want to be THAT guy….The one who pushes off his waste-of-space relatives on the company/interviewer. We have all worked with them.
I assume the nieces and nephews that actually got interviews, did some bare minimum of work to get the opportunity. Why shouldn’t he?
Are we at a stage where people SERIOUSLY believe “I dunno” is s complete sentence???
NTA
You did give him a chance to show what he could do. Apparently, it’s the absolute bare minimum, and with an attitude.
I don’t blame you at all, your credibility would suffer if you recommended someone that unmotivated.
“My brother made the case that my nephew had struggled during the pandemic, the academic landscape has changed, and he needs someone to give him a chance to show what he can do. ”
You just gave him that chance. He did not rise to the occasion.
Right. oP didn’t say no, OP asked him to write a cover letter which is the bare minimum and he didn’t even do that.
NTA. You did give him a chance, multiple chances. He had a chance when he contacted you, when you asked him to write a note, when you asked him again to his face why he wanted the internship.
What does he think the interview would consist of?
If he’s genuinely not capable of answering these kinds of questions and presenting himself in a professional way, then he’s not remotely going to be able to pass an interview with your company. Recommending him for one would reflect poorly on you.
If he *is* capable of pulling of an interview, but is stubbornly refusing to show you that despite explicitly being asked for it, then he’s jerking around the person he’s asking for help. In that case, he might be able to pass the interview, but he wouldn’t deserve to, and his entitled attitude would probably still reflect poorly on you.
>he needs someone to give him a chance to show what he can do
You did exactly that: you asked him to write a brief note. He would not even do that.
NTA,
NTA. The only way you should offer an interview is if you have a good buddy on that would do the interviews and doesn’t mind wasting their time.
“Hey \[friend\], I have a nephew begging for an internship interview with you. I am 100% aware that it is neither qualified or motivated for the position. I’ve explained this to him and his parents that I do not want to risk my own reputation recommending him. I want to respect your time and effort, so *please* do not hesitate to say no if you don’t want to: are you willing to interview him so that he can feel the embarrassment of being woefully unprepared? I think he needs to feel the consequences of his apathy to actually learn here. YET, it’s not you job to teach him those consequences. I’m asking this purely as a favor to me, and completely understand if you do not want to extend the effort or time for essentially a fake interview. I can take the heat from my family for refusing to facilitate and interview.”
I say this, because I would 100% do this type of interview for a friend as a teaching moment and probably enjoy myself in the process.