So about a month ago I(F 22) graduated from university and after graduation a few friends and I went out to the club for a girls night. One of the said friends(F 23)got drunk as most of us did and left us several occasions to be with a known creep. This man proceeded to follow us the entire night (as she was with us) and on several occasions we tried to reason with her that he’s weird and a creep, and that we were worried for her safety.She refused to listen to reason and continued to slip away to be with him which left me to worry the entire night. The man when confronted by several of us insisted that she wasn’t drunk(which simply wasn’t true) and continued to gas light us.eventually he finally separated from her and we left and ubered to a friends house. When we made it to the friends house said friend (F 23) became limp and was showing signs of alcohol poisoning or even possible drugged behavior. After assisting her for what felt like an hour I decided to call 911 and they came and assisted her onto the couch where she remained most of the night but as a worrisome friend I could not sleep as she was knocked out but refused to speak to any of us which left me very worried. She woke up and was fine but when confronted about her actions she blamed me for inviting her out and stated that she was just drunk. Am I the asshole for inviting what I believe to have been a close friend to celebrate my special occasion only for her to ruin the night?
No NTA…what are you going to do with this friend?
I honestly don’t know. I like her and I want to be friends but I really don’t think I can excuse this behavior and it’s something that I could forgive but her response when I confronted her changes my perspective of her entirely
Ok, so it’s your fault for inviting her out? Don’t invite her out again. She has a problem, but it doesn’t need to be your problem.
YTA.
If she was drugged like you suspect then you are victim blaming. You should be thankful she is OK and nothing really bad happened to her. Even if she wasn’t drugged, alcohol impairs peoples judgement and decision making. You all went out binge drinking (no shade), looking after each other when you’re in that situation is part of the deal.
Go out another time to celebrate graduating if you really need to.
How would I be the asshold if she was drugged? We tried to stay near her and watch her the entire night. But she purposely kept slipping away from us to be with him so we wouldn’t be near. Most of the night was us spent looking for her.
This is too simplistic and casually using the phrase “victim blaming” undermines its seriousness.
Aside from not taking accountability and doesn’t acknowledge her mistakes is a huge red flag. She owes you an apology, not the other way around.
By your own admission everyone was drunk. it’s unfortunate that your friend over did it and her behaviour caused you to worry but I doubt she went out with that intention. You don’t say that this is normal for her, so I would be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt.
what do you your other friends think? why did you feel soley responsible for her?
If you let this define your whole graduation celebration then that would be a shame.
My other friends are pretty upset over the situation. They also spent the night worried about her too so I think it ruined the night for them as well.
I didn’t mention it but her and I hung out and drank as well and something similar happened. Definitely not to this severity but after this incident I was reminded of what happened in the past so I’m starting to believe it’s a pattern from her
YTA, to yourself. Things happen and it’s not worth it to get so upset about it that you feel the need to post it on reddit, just reschedule and do it again.
NTA**.** You’re upset because your graduation turned into a safety crisis, not because your friend drank. She repeatedly ignored concerns, stayed with a known creep, put herself at risk, and you had to call 911. That’s not on you. You acted responsibly and as a good friend. Her blaming you afterward instead of taking accountability is unfair. It’s reasonable for this to change how close you are going forward.