This has nothing to do with the damn fruit juice but read the post fully. My brother and my mom live here in my hometown while i am staying away for college. I came to my hometown for a few days to meet and hang out with my best friend. I recently wanted to start consuming a healthier diet and so wanted to get a juicer. I wanted to test the juicer today by making some pomegranate juice because i have never used a juicer like this before. My mom insisted me to make juice for my brother as well. and i refused.
Now, no i am not selfish or egoistic, hear me out. My brother is narcissistic and also has antisocial personality disorder. Every 4 months or so, he creates a huge conflict with my mother, and it always involves a lot of verbal abuse and emotional chaos. And these conflicts always arise because of some petty issue too. Once, he grabbed a scissor and threatened to hurt me and mom. Actually, he has threatened to physically hurt my mother many times in the past.
It has been nearly 5 years since me and my brother stopped talking, because i realized he can’t be fixed and he is too toxic. And after all these years of emotional abuse and hurt, my mother has changed a lot. She treats both me and him differently, though i did nothing to deserve it.
When we were younger, she used to make fruit juices for us almost everyday, but then she stopped making anything except food for us after all these conflicts and fights. When i asked her, she said she just didn’t want to make fruit juice for him (my brother) and if she made it for me, she would have to serve him too, so she avoids making it entirely.
But then now, she expects me to make juice for him today. Isn’t this being highly hypocritical?
Also, during one of these conflicts, he claimed the entire house for himself and refused to let me and mom in for 2 days. He also doesn’t care about other’s emotions at all and would yell slurs and swear words at my mother. He is borderline psychopathic.
If he has a diagnosed personality disorder, he should be on medication and therapy, no?
The fuck. Kick his ass out. You and your mom need to get him out, depending on the state, his stupid ass might try to turn it into a civil case but I’m sure you and your mom will live far better lives without him. Next outburst he has, your mom should get the cops involved and have him leave.
Yes, i suggested getting the cops involved too, but she is afraid that it will ruin his social image. It sucks. He takes advantage of the fact that she won’t do anything to keep him under control….
You gotta do these things yourself. I’ve had to call the cops 3 times in my life(thankfully only 3 times) and yes, it’s awkward as hell, but it’s gonna be far more than just awkward when the next time you come home from college and the house is trashed, or your moms got a black eye or worse. This “but he’s family” type of attitude is not a hill to die on. I’ve called the cops on my own mother because that’s how bad shit got with her.
NTA This has nothing to do with fruit juice. The problem is your mother is enabling your brother’s behaviour.
She is either trapped by her own insecurity or thinks life is better when he gets everything he wants.
The fact he locked you two out of her house for 2 days shows the situation cannot be solved without her realising abusing you to keep him happy is not the way forward.
Tell her no contact until she stops enabling his abuse.
Yeah, this has absolutely nothing to do with the juice. It is just ridiculous how my mother can ask me to make it for him after everything that has happened. She clearly doesn’t want to feel like she is abandoning him, even if it means that he slowly destroys the peace and the dynamic at home. I did tell her to stop talking to him as well, but nope, she just doesn’t listen. Honestly, my house is a toxic hellhole. I feel far more peaceful in my college dorm.
NTA. Call the cops every single time he physically threatens you. Have him committed if you need to.
Yea, i tried to convince my mom that getting the cops involved is the best move here, but she just doesn’t want to, afraid that it will harm his social image and reputation. She doesn’t listen, and she does nothing to control the situation, and all she does is to victimise herself and avoid responsibility.
You don’t have to convince her- stop trying- you can call the cops yourself . You could walk into the police station anytime and file a report about him. Ignore your mom she clearly isn’t worried about your wellbeing. Go introduce yourself to the officers at the station and tell them the history. Maybe get a lawyer and start the 51/50 process for your brother. Don’t tell anybody about it. People like your brother age like spoiled milk unfortunately this will only get more dangerous for you both. You can call paramedics when he’s upset but they automatically send cops when someone is combative or disturbed. Get the non emergency ## for your sheriffs office and stay in contact with them and file a report every time it happens. Take proof of previous incidents to them, if you have it.
That is going to be my next move if something more happens in the future. I am gonna do it myself. I already have video proof of him yelling and threatening my mother.
You heard about rob reiner and his wife being killed by their son right ? Act now.
NTA. Your juicer, your rules. There’s a difference between sibling rivalry and living in fear. Props to you for setting boundaries.