I cannot figure out what to do about this situation and I feel really bad so here we go. I just got home from the hospital after a week long stay for a pretty severe kidney infection and I’m on a combo of antibiotics and pain meds that make me insanely sick to my stomach. My mom likes to smoke weed in the house, I don’t smoke and I’m I’m bothered by the smell but can usually tolerate it if I stay in my room, but right now even with my door closed Its making me feel so ill that I’ve thrown up twice since this happened. My mom’s sister had an aneurysm about a week ago and is basically dying in the hospital which has my mom understandably distraught but she’s been incredibly reactive and hostile with me since it happened. Basically anytime we get in a disagreement or I do something that makes her upset she just starts screaming at me about how her sister is dying and how that should justify whatever she’s doing. When I started to smell it I came out of my room and saw here rolling up on the couch, we live in a really small house and I don’t have a door that closes all the way so I could smell it right when she opened the container. I immediately asked her if she could take it outside because of my meds, she got upset and told me I was just gonna have to deal with it. I’ve been getting maybe 3 hours max of sleep a night for the past 5 days because of the pain and I’m really agitated so I got really short with her and kept telling her to take it outside because I feel ill and I’ll throw up if she doesn’t. She started to yell at me and went off about how I’m being selfish and the only person I think about is myself. For some reason me bringing up not feeling well is immediately met with her saying "how do you think I feel?" which I don’t really know how to respond to. I don’t know what to do because I feel awful at the idea of trying to have a conversation with her about how she’s acting given the circumstances and I don’t want to make her feel any worse. But she keeps using this situation to justify completely disregarding the fact that she’s being inconsiderate.
Ugh. Clearly NTA. Is there anywhere else you could stay, even temporarily?
Who owns the house? Are you a minor? If it’s your mom’s house and you’re old enough to move out, then she can do as she pleases. If you’re a minor, then she is very much in the wrong.
She owns the house, I’m newly an adult and finishing up my last year of highschool right now. I have some pretty severe chronic health/mobility issues that prevent me from going to school full time and without a doubt are going to impact me being able to work consistently so I’m trying to figure out a way to gain independence.
Who owns the house? If she owns it there’s not much you can do. If you own it, absolutely you can tell her to go outside. My parents smoked cigarettes inside when I was a kid, I absolutely hated it. But there was not much i could do about it. I am a pretty fierce anti smoker now though thanks to them smoking.
NTA,
…which *should* be clear to any sane, reasonable human. If she needs to smoke that badly, she can take it outside. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal wirh this, especially right now! Kidney infections are no joke, and you can feel incredibly drained just fighting that. Mom needs a wake-up call.
INTA, although if it’s her house, you have to tolerate her rules unless there’s someplace else you can stay while you recover. Also, who TF refuses to step outside to smoke tin order to help their child recover from a hospital stay? I know she’s struggling to deal with the looming loss of her sister, but, come on. I wish you a full and speedy recovery.
Why doesn’t your door close all the way? I feel like that could be helpful
So it’s not an actual door, it’s like a panel room divider thing? My room isn’t actually a bedroom it’s supposed to be like a day room and didn’t have a door when we moved in so there’s gaps at the top and bottom. The house is rented so there’s no way to put an actual door there.
You are NTA. I am not letting anyone smoke ANYTHING in my house. And if it’s your mom’s house, there’s still this thing called “consideration for others,” especially right now.
Off topic, why didn’t the hospital send you home with some Zofran? Any time I have to have pain meds for anything I have to have Zofran with them, because they do nothing but make me sick. Call your regular doctor and see if they’ll send a prescription for it over to your pharmacy.
Puke on her. Then she’ll know it really is an issue. I hate selfish people.
Definitely NTA. I know you’re 18 but still in school. Do you have a teacher or counselor to go to to get a place to stay until you feel better?
I do online highschool because my health issues make it impossible for me to be out of the house for more than a few hours at a time so I don’t really have any established relationships with so called “trusted adults”.