i’ve known this guy for over a year, him and i have become ‘friends’ in the loosest sense, solely because i’m renting a room from him. he’s definitely gay and in his 80s, (dude even got visibly jealous when i had a friend of the opposite sex over to help with back problems (nothing sexual)) and i’ve set boundaries everywhere. the biggest one is ‘if my room is closed, i’d prefer to not be disturbed.’
he has constantly violated that especially when i’m asleep. he wakes me up when closes the door. i’ve confronted him countless times and he’s apologised, says because i didn’t answer the door, he cares too much and wanted to make sure i’m alive. i’ve caught him closing my door many times and so i told him i know he’s been doing it a lot more than he claims because i have cameras for when i’m sleeping (very much a lie) and he still keeps coming in.
he calls and texts me at work, if i don’t respond, he freaks out and continues calling me and texting me with no time in between.
this last week has been tense, he wants to be friends and i don’t even acknowledge his existence unless he corners me and it becomes a screaming match because he’s trying to excuse his actions and they are inexcusable. i’m renting, i’ve signed a contract, and i’m paid up until March 15, and he expects me to be his friend when i know being nice to him gives him permission to continue to invade my privacy.
AITA?
Move out…
I know it should be the only option, but you’re staying in his place.
You can change the locks/door handle, but legally you can’t.
i’m a truck driver and i will be grabbing my truck wednesday in atlanta, i leave tomorrow at midnight and am clearing my things to a storage unit tomorrow morning. i’m leaving.
Good 👍
Don’t even say anything. Pay the rest of your rent and leave
NTA
Landlord/tenant is a business relationship. If someone wants to keep a business relationship strictly business, that boundary should be respected.
In most states, landlords are not allowed total access to the tenant’s private spaces. Outside of emergencies, they often require permission or must give notice in advance.
Your landlord is behaving in a totally inappropriate way. I would find somewhere else to live. You may have grounds to terminate your lease early, but you probably need time to find a new place anyway.
Sounds like a great thriller-type movie.
dude has ‘here’s johnny’ vibes
NTA but also leave ASAP.
This landlord doesn’t deserve your money so I would just move out. Also at what point does this become harassment?
He is likely pleasuring himself while watching you sleep and closes the door when you are about to awaken.
Get one of those alarm door stops that shriek when the door is opened. It may give him a heart attack but they are effective deterrents.
Or if YOU don’t want to be awakened, just a big, fat, old-school rubber door stop. Jam it under the door near the jamb. It won’t budge until you knock it loose.
Old coot will never get in again. But take it with you every time you leave or it may go “missing.”
This weird can you move out? I check on my child to make sure she’s sleeping and honestly I mostly do that because sometimes I find her awake late at night making crafts or something. I have never checked on a roommate or even my spouse when they are sleeping. Honestly I really don’t care what another adult is doing in their own room. Something else is going on here, it reminds of a true crime episode where a guy was drugging his wife and taking pictures of her sleeping.
He sees you as more than a friend. Leave asap. Find another room to rent..
NTA. Is he getting senile? I know mud-March feels a long ways away, but it’s not. Make sure to email, text, and give written notice of not continuing the contract so he can’t say he didn’t know.
everything has been written in text.
This behavior is hard to document, which means you could wind up responsible for the remaining lease or a credit problem. (If you actually had video, it would help.) Can you afford to pay off the remaining lease? If so, it would avoid any paper trail that could affect your credit. Whether you pay just this month or until March, don’t pay in cash. Use a check or money order so you can prove you paid. I would probably send a registered letter explaining what you said here and that you cannot continue to live there with him violating your privacy on a daily basis. I know it’s creepy and disturbing, but try not to take it too personally. He may be experiencing dementia or mental illness that has affected his reasoning. Best wishes on finding a great situation soon!