I (25M) have a younger sister (19F). For some context, our mom isn’t very well off financially, and I’ve been helping out a lot over the years by covering many of my sister’s academic and personal expenses.
Recently, my sister asked our mom for about $300 to go on an out-of-town trip with friends. Our mom genuinely couldn’t afford it and told her no. My sister was visibly upset and since then has been giving our mom the cold shoulder, barely speaking to her and acting distant. It’s been really uncomfortable to watch, especially knowing our mom already feels bad that she can’t provide much financially.
What bothers me is that my sister never asked me for the money. If she had, I probably would’ve said yes without much hesitation. But after seeing how she reacted to our mom and how hurt it made her feel, I don’t really want to step in and reward that behavior.
Part of me feels like I’m justified because she’s acting entitled and unfair to our mom. Another part of me wonders if I’m being petty and letting my emotions get in the way, especially since I can afford it and the trip itself isn’t unreasonable.
So, AITA for choosing not to give my sister the money this time because of how she treated our mom?
Your sister is old enough to go get a job if she wants money for a trip. My son worked two part time jobs and went to college full time to pay for his own “extras”.
NTA. She is 19 and is acting super entitled. Let her work for her own money.
NTA. Dont give in and pay for the trip. That would just reinforce the behavior. She needs to get over herself or go get a job and pay for herself. She’s an adult. Absolutely zero reason for her to be depending on you or your mom.
NTA. Your sister is 19, not 13. She can’t pick up some work and come up with $300?
NTA don’t reward her bad behavior
NTA. Your sister hasn’t asked you as far as I can tell. There’s no need to volunteer the money. Also, she’s old enough to work. Regarding your comment that the trip itself isn’t unreasonable – IMHO any trip you can’t afford by yourself is unreasonable unless there is some extreme circumstance. Be careful with that mindset, it could cause you some difficult financial times.
NTA. When times are tough, out of town trips for teenagers aren’t the priority. They are a pure luxury.
NTA. The ONLY person I would help would be your mother. Send your mom on a trip away from your sister.
NTA, shes 19, go get a job
Your sister is old enough to understand that you cant get blood from a stone. She is also old enough to contain and master her feelings enough to avoid taking out her frustrations on her mom, who genuinely cannot fulfill her request. Her annoyance is understandable, but i dont think her behavior should be rewarded. Just have a heart to heart with her.
She hasn’t even asked you, this is 100% not a problem for you to solve.
Your sister needs to start acting like an adult, if she wants a weekend away with friends she can get a job and stay supporting her hobbies/social life herself.
It’ll be better for her in the long run.
NTA Attitude is everything. Your sister is 19 years old and could have job now to pay for her own trips and extras. Making your Mom feel bad is wrong.
NTA. Your sister didn’t ask you, so none of your business. Alsoshe is 19 and if she can go on a trip with her friend, I am sure she can also work and star paying for her own stuff, just like you are doing. If you pay for trip, it will help her to learn to be entitled.
NTA
She is 19. If she wants to go, she can get a job and spend her own money.