I (17F) am an only child and I’m from a country where private universities are more reputable than public schools and a lot more expensive but my parents make enough to fund my education there so I applied for and got accepted. I have a cousin (11F) who I’m not close with and she has had her dad walk out on her and her mom (my aunt). Again, this isn’t a country where they can file for child support accessibly although they are trying to. Now my dad (her uncle) wants to pay for her tuition (she goes to a private school as well) until they get back on their feet. However my dad has said it will be a struggle to fund for both of us simultaneously and is insinuating that I defer my offer and take a gap year. AITA for refusing this and going ahead with my uni plans even if it means my cousin may be pulled out of her school since he had reassured me before that he will pay for me?
Never sacrifice your own education for someone else. NTA.
NTA
While it may sound harsh… don’t put your education behind anyone else’s. Who knows if you’ll really get the chance after your gap year again. Or if it’ll still be too expensive.
Of course it’s hard and I do wish for the best for your cousin as well. Is it an option for your cousin to go to a different less expensive school? Will the education be massively different?
All in all… I’m afraid I’m on your side to go ahead to university. You also worked hard to get into it. 🙂
Never make a sacrifice of your education unless it’s for your own child. Your father is trying to go back on his word. NTA
Taking a gap year doesn’t change the economics of the situation. Your parents would still need to pay for both schools after the gap year. What do they think will change between now and then to make a gap year worth the delay? Do they honestly think your aunt will magically get back on her feet by then and be able to cover the tuition herself? It sounds unlikely to me.
More or less, since she’s in the middle of her school year and pulling her out now would mean another school wouldn’t take her in and she has to repeat the year she has missed. But I get your point!
How would your aunt come up with all this money in a year’s time if your country doesn’t do child support? It sounds like you would do a gap year, and then you would be told there is still not enough money for you both and pressured to not continue on in school for the sake of your cousin.
I would tell your dad you don’t want to do the gap year. One year of public school in middle school will not be the end of the world for your cousin. If your aunt “figures it out” as everyone seems to think she will do, then the money will be there the next year and she can go back to private school after just one year, right?
Definitely not the A . And I am wondering why your dad is expecting you to forfeit
NTA. Your education at 17 (and about to enter adulthood) is much more important than your cousin at 11. Also your dad shouldn’t even be wanting to sacrifice his own child’s education for another, even if she’s family.
NTA.
Your aunt needs to come up with a different plan for her daughter, sacrificing your education will most likely end with you getting a lower standard education and affecting your future.
NTA.
Your family should be prioritizing your education over hers. While your father’s actions are honorable in intent, they come at the expense of your education.
NTA.
Ur dad shouldn’t offer to pay for another child’s tuition if he can’t afford it
NAH (except for your cousin’s dad, obviously) but keep your plans. I get wanting to help but they can’t guarantee they’ll be back on their feet in one year, and what’s the plan then? You might lose your chance at a good school because of that gap year. Meanwhile, your cousin still has 7 years before college, plenty of time to get back on track even if she ends up in a public school for a while.
Where is your mother in all this? If she is around, your dad shouldn’t be taking unilateral decisions about your future.
NTA
Dad needs to honor his responsibility to his own child before he can take on responsibility for a niece.
Tell him you are going to uni as expected so you can more quickly be into working in your career. His generous impulse needed to be more carefully considered.
Why would your dad want you to sacrifice your university education for his niece’s school? I’m a parent and I don’t get it. I’d help family but I couldn’t sacrifice my child’s education.
Is something else in play here? Your cousin’s dad should be made to pay or lifestyle changes…