I (20F) am in culinary school and for the first block of the semester I was assigned to work with my former bench partner (35M). The way the curriculum works at my school is we all get put in a class and as a class we rotate through different courses or blocks as we call them every 3 weeks. Every time we rotate to a different block we get new partners or teams to work with. Working with this man was an absolute nightmare for me. He constantly had attitude with me, treated me like I’m incompetent and stupid, refused to let me help him on products we were doing as a team, and finally every time I made even a minor mistake it was the end of the world for him. Here’s the thing, he definitely wasn’t perfect himself and made the same amount of mistakes as me if not more and I never once complained. Now here’s where things get spicy. I went to meet up with my new bench partner let’s call her Tammy for the upcoming block to discuss recipes, game plans, etc and she had some tea for me. Apparently my former bench partner approached her because he knew she was partnered with me for the upcoming block and started saying I’m incompetent, had attitude with him, and some other really nasty things about me. Anyways, this pissed me off a little bit but I wasn’t super torn up about it because people at this school talk shit about their peers way more often than I’d like and he didn’t even try to hide that he hated working with me so I wasn’t all that surprised he was shit talking me behind my back to our peers. Here’s where things get even spicier. As I was leaving the meeting with my new bench partner I ran into another one of my other classmates let’s call her Alice. Alice and I are catching up and talking about our next block when she says she’s dreading the fact that she’s partnered with my former bench partner. I then say that I heard he was talking shit about me from Tammy and she said oh yeah he talked shit about me everyday. She then explained that he would wait until I left class every single day and proceed to list everything I did wrong to our chef and say really nasty things about me to our chef as well. This is what really set me off. It’s one thing to talk shit about me to our peers but to try and make me look bad to our superior is totally unacceptable. After I heard this information and got pissed off I made the decision to list all the things he did wrong as well as instances of his attitude problem towards me to Alice. It felt really good to tell my side of the story and defend myself but after I got home I felt a little bad because I don’t want Alice to have negativity with my old bench partner before the block even begins. Negativity and drama always affects peoples performance and I don’t want her performance in the kitchen (and her grade) to suffer because of my pettiness and on top of that I just hate being a pot stirrer and causing drama. So AITA?
Info
Do you think his complaints to your supervisor affected your grade?
I’m honestly not sure. A lot of the people in my class that I’ve talked to have said no because they thought the chef could see through his bullshit but I’ve kept it in the back of my mind because my grade was lower than I expected
FWIW, I think his shit-talking says more about him than you. Alice wouldn’t dread working with *him* if she believed *you* were the incompetent chef he is failing to paint you as
NTA. He seems to think the best way for him to get ahead is not to be great, but show how others are worse than him. People will eventually see through this ruse.
NTA – You are both in classes, you’re there to learn and you will make mistakes along the way. In reality, he’s probably jealous of some of the things you do well, so he wants to highlight the things you’re still working on.
Consider asking the instructor for a brief one-on-one. I would bet that instructor will just nod and tell you that they grade based on their own assessment, and that they’ve seen this type of behavior many times over the course of their career.
Info: Have these complaints have an effect on your grade for that class?
… I came here thinking this was a bench pressing question…. I’ll see my way out.
😂😂😂
I legit thought a dude was fucking with you about your bench press and was ready to flame the ahole lol..
FWIW you are always an asshole for talking shit about anyone.
Paragraphs are good!
It kept going over the character limit when I tried to put paragraphs lol