I cook dinner every day. Or what you could realistically say every day, except for the occasions where we get takeout or whatever else. I wasn’t directly called an asshole for this, but there was a remark of "You get the ~~bigger~~ better piece, huh?"
**(corrected ‘bigger’ to ‘better’ as people thought it was a big enough difference to leave someone hungry)**
I feel like when I’m the one who figures out what we’re gonna eat, does the grocery shopping, cooks the dinner, then I may have the right to decide who gets who when plating up.. Am I greedy?
I wanna point out that if we get takeout or something like that, I’ll offer up whatever I think they might like, it’s just that when I cooked the meal and such, I feel like I can take the ‘good cut’..
**EDIT**: *To add some info, since the brunt objective stuff isn’t enough;*
I always cook more than enough food, often too much, which is a different problem. It’s not supposed to be a relationship thing, but I cook for my partner and our child (our kid is too young to eat our food, so I make them a separate meal) We’re simply talking MINISCULE levels of bigger piece of meat, or better sear, or whatever else qualifies as "better piece". I’m way bigger than my partner (practically, *almost* literally twice the size) I don’t ALWAYS take the best piece, but I would say I do it more than I give it. It’s not 50/50, skewed towards me taking it more often than giving it. As I *also* pointed out, if there’s a piece of something I know my partner likes more than I do, I’ll readily give that piece, even if I also like it, if I know it’s their favorite (or really appreciated).
An example is 4 pieces of meat. 3 the same size, 1 a bit smaller. I’d take 2 same-size and give the normal sized and smaller to my partner.
**(((NOBODY LEAVES THE TABLE HUNGRY – THERE’S LEFTOVERS 99% OF THE TIME)))**
**EXTRA EDIT**\*(why is this needed??)\*: The comment was not from a harmful, hateful, angry place. I made one of the dishes we both favor, like top 5 kind of dishes I make, and my partner commented on me having a ‘better’ piece, with a figurative (maybe literal) curl of their lip. This is not a relationship AITA. This is about the act of taking the ‘better piece’ as the cook.
For other clarification I don’t **ALWAYS** take the ‘better piece’ but I will admit I do it a majority of the time, let’s say 60%. Keep in mind there’s a bunch of dishes that don’t have separately cooked pieces, in those cases it’s obviously not possible to take the ‘better piece’.
I call it “chefs prerogative” or “cooks cut” when I eat the chicken butt.
Personally I believe one person plates the other person picks, but in conflict with chef’s prerogative, that wins.
Additionally the ye audacity to complain when someone else has cooked and plated for you.
NTA
You aren’t an AH exactly, but you aren’t being fair either if you always do this.
Why do you cook for people if you don’t think they ever deserve to try the best bits?
If you do this every time, you are not wrong. You’re just an asshole. But not wrong. But still an asshole.
A fair, straight forward opinion with no assumptions. I respect this.
Every single time? Is generosity not in your nature? Would it really be that much of a sacrifice to not ALWAYS get the best bits? Would it really make you that miserable?
YTA
INFO. Okay, so this depends on the wider context of the relationship. Who are you splitting with? A romantic partner? Are their contributions to the relationship overall pretty equal, even if you are in charge of food?
If yes, share the food equally and take turns getting the good parts. YTA. If you cook but they work, do you expect them to keep a bigger portion of the money?
If no and you’re doing more than your share… “Ever heard of the Little Red Hen? You’re coming out ahead by getting ANY piece.”
Sounds like you don’t love the person you cook for. My husband and I always give each other the bigger or better bits.
NTA – but it is quite interesting you do that.
I do all the cooking in the house too, and when I portion up, I always give her the best cut or better cooked one. Why? Because I love her and want her to have the best bit.
I’m the same. I live with my girlfriend, and when I cook (we do a rough 50/50), I always choose the best pieces for her. If the only difference is one is plated better, she gets the pretty one. It’s because I love her and also because I pride myself in being a good cook, so maximising her enjoyment takes priority.
This is me, too. I am always a bit baffled when I read posts like this. But my spouse and I split household tasks very equally (not in that we both do 50% of every task, but in that the general responsibility split is equal). Plus, my spouse always thinks of me first, too. So maybe that’s the missing link here? OP’s spouse doesn’t pull their weight and/or doesn’t put OP first in similar situations?
I also do all the cooking, 90% of the time, I give my kids the best bits. I want them to develop good taste and understand whatever I’ve made in its best light. My husband is an only child whose parents modeled selfish food behavior, so he never shares, with them or with me. We’ve talked about it many times, but he has inexplicable food insecurities that therapy has not helped him grow past.
But when it comes to steak? I am eating the tail and I will not be sharing (except if my kids change their minds on fatty cuts, then I guess I would give it up or otherwise cook two, smaller steaks). I leave my husband out in the cold on steak, sorry honey.
“Why? Because I love her…” More people in the world should be like this.
Why is this even a question?
I don’t understand why you two live together.
I do most of the cooking for my partner and I, and because I don’t *resent* her, I share the food equally with her.
I don’t understand these posts of “I live in a state of silent warfare with my partner, am I the asshole”
I don’t even know, ESH, I guess?
If you have to fight over the food, have you considered cooking a bit *more* food so both of you can get what you want?
I do all the cooking in my house. I get secret chef snacks as i cook and then give the best piece to my partner.