I (21M) have a cousin (19M) who’s pretty careless with other people’s stuff. Last month, I let him borrow my phone for a day because his was getting repaired. He returned it with a cracked screen and just said sorry, it slipped. He didn’t offer to pay for the repair and when I asked him to cover half the cost, he said he’s a student and can’t afford it.
Yesterday, he texted me asking if he could borrow my laptop for an important online exam because his laptop wasn’t working. I said no and reminded him about the phone incident. He got upset and said I was holding a grudge and that his exam is more important than a small mistake.
Now my aunt is calling me selfish and saying I should help family. My parents are staying neutral but my sister thinks I’m being petty.
I feel bad because his exam is important, but I also don’t want my expensive laptop damaged.
NTA. If he needs use of a laptop or computer he can go to his school’s library.
If he repaired your phone after he broke it then yes. Since he didn’t- then no. Hell no
Even without the earlier scenario, OP does not have a responsibility to this cousin to lend out the laptop. You can’t be an asshole simply for not doing someone a favor.
Go to the library
Tell your sister to lend him her laptop. The cheek of this. NTA.
NTA. He’s not entitled to borrowing anything from you, especially after he broke something else that’s yours and refused to pay.
Your Aunt can lend him a laptop, if she thinks you’re “selfish”.
Tell your aunt to help family by paying for the repair of your phone, and of her son´s laptop.
NTA
NTA. He can go to the fucking library
Clearly NTA. Lending your possessions is a favor. You’re always allowed to decline a favor.
Knowing history is not the same as holding a grudge. He failed his duty of care with your phone, and you probably should have taken him to small claims court to get the repair money.
Court would have had multiple good results. You’d get reimbursed for the damage he caused. He’d be on notice that you wouldn’t let him get away with damage, giving him some incentive not to be careless with your stuff.
Meanwhile, you could let him know that the phone repair was costly. Tell him you won’t lend him your laptop in part because you can’t risk an even more costly repair on the laptop. Also, and most important, it’s YOUR laptop and you need to use it yourself. If he doesn’t have your laptop, he could always just use a library computer. Your laptop isn’t a need; it’s a convenience.
Equipping your cousin is his parents’ responsibility, not yours. It’s your aunt who’s being selfish. If your sister thinks you’re being petty, she’s welcome lend your cousin her own stuff.
Oh, *heck* no…
This is definitely a “consequences of your own actions” situation.
He refuses to take responsibility for breaking your things, so he doesn’t get a chance to break anything else.
NTA – and tell anyone complaining that they can give THEIR gear to your cousin.
If only there was a quiet place for students to borrow computers…. oh wait there is, kindly inform your aunt about the magic of Libraries. NTA
NTA, he can’t be trusted to keep other people’s things safe, so you stopped trusting him. Your aunt being on his side tells me this kid has never faced consequences for his actions, and this is a very reasonable and natural consequence.
Is your laptop the only one in town? Libraries have them ….. He can go there! NTA
NTA. He has demonstrated that he is not responsible with other people’s valuable property and electronics, dude can book time at the local library for a computer.