The title of this post does definitely paint me as the morally just person, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. Also, apologies for the grammar; I’m on mobile.
Me and my friends were playing a video game together, and unfortunately one friend interrupted an attack by another friend.
Context for names, the person who made the interruption mistake we will call M, and the other friend whom was interrupted we’ll call P.
After M interrupted P, P proceeded to get very angry with M. He began yelling and the such, so I stepped in.
I said that M is rather now and that he doesn’t know the gameplay mechanics that well. P then got frustrated with me. He made his defense that M should be able to know what he’s doing due to his level. Still he was very angry. I continued that he just made a mistake; but P cut me off and said he wasn’t taking anything from me.
I said something that could’ve been said better, I called him a dick. P then mocked my voice and told me to say it again ‘cause he “wanted to hear my ugly voice again.”
Another thing he said was that M was not offended by the yelling and that I was the cry baby of the group.
This whole thing went along for about 2 minutes as I was trying to make it clear anger was not required for this interaction. P was throwing insults at me for the most part, but then I said something I believe to be bad.
“Why do I always have to sacrifice this if I want to play a competitive game with you?” For context he gets angry at games often.
The argument slowly faded, and I left the group chat. I eventually texted him the next day later about how I was going to split up from the group. I mentioned in the message that I felt I was being manipulated and abused. Situations like this has been a reoccurring issue.
P said, “you step into things that aren’t issues and aren’t problems. You can claim that I’m manipulative but even M said you use ‘girl manipulative tactics’.”
The whole situation faded and I haven’t talked with him for about a day. I’m still feel crazy because I don’t know if I was in the wrong. Im not sure if I was the manipulative one. AITA?
TLDR: I may have stepped into a situation that didn’t need remedy between my friends.
NTA – Bad behavior doesn’t have to be directed at you for you to respond to it. P sounds like a bully. The phrase “girl manipulation tactics” alone makes him a huge AH.
I appreciate your input; I was quite worried I was overstepping in the situation and was being manipulative.
ESH. Every person in this scenario sounds exhausting.
You make a valid point. Nothing about the interactions done here are productive.
Seems like calling him a d i c k is what made it worse than it needed to be. ESH.
NTA
I was kinda leaning towards a no fault/everyone at fault.
But then P said “girl manipulative tactics,” and we’re done here.
$50 says P thinks he’s “the alpha,” but in reality could use some therapy to work out those daddy issues and the various other things he’s repressing.
ESH. I think your real issue is you’ve had an issue about Ps behavior but have sat on it silently so when you saw an opportunity to address, you took it too far and had a private convo publicly.
How old are you people – 13? 14?
*It’s a game – just a game.*
ESH for juvenile gaming drama.
Yeah… that’s what I always try to get across when anger arises in games, but usually I get shut down.
You may not see this, but your attempts to play peacemaker probably *create more drama*; no one wants to be told to “simmer down” or “take a step back”.
This is the sort of situation where the only thing you control is your own behavior…so set a boundary in advance, like “Hey, listen, I won’t play if you get ugly with each other”, and *stick to it*. Warn them if they’re getting heated, and quit the game if they get ugly.
I really appreciate that feedback. That’s something I haven’t noticed. I often struggle with tone and the like along with what’s acceptable and what helps. It’s hard for me to be surrounded by people who get angry because of some stuff that happened in my past. I do need to learn to be neutral about things.
ESH. How old is everyone?
I’m 19. P is 23. M is 20.