So pretty much the title. For a bit of context, I am currently living abroad (male) with my aunt at another country, where I work. She was very kind to accept to have me for a while until I get a new apartment for myself.
So yesterday I was in the toilet and made the mistake of turning the key but the door was not really locked ( the door is a little bit uneven so it stayed closed and thought it actually was locked). My aunt came in and completely just opened the door (luckily I ran behind the door and I was not naked in front of her). And yes, I do take my clothes off before going.
So I was pissed but still managed to eat up the anger. When I got out I told her that it is better to knock on the door first, especially if you can see that there is a light inside so that nobody gets some really weird surprises (which is something I do and already told them about). She immediately blurted out that “No actually in the family we do not knock and it is all on you”. That is true it is my mistake that I did not check again that the door was locked but I really got pissed when she said it like that, and told her that it is still not “polite” to burst into a toilet, and that the door actually may fool a potential guest as well so it is not only about the family. She went into one of her ways (this is actually something that she does a lot) of switching the argument into irrelevant other situations like “would you knock the door if you are in a public restroom?” . I was so pissed that I actually screamed at her and told her that she can consider me as well as a guest and just think whether I can be in the toilet everytime she tries until I go away and then they can open the toilet on each other.
Now I feel really bad because after all she really helped me in my first time in this country, and honestly things went a bit chiller now but I still think whether I am the AH in this situation or I should have just accepted that.
Edit : thank you very much for your comments, I was definitely in the wrong here. Now to address a quick detail people did mention a lot about being naked in toilet.
I learned today that I may be the only one to do it and I thought many do. I also only do it when going number 2. I just feel very wrong having my clothes on at the moment. i know there should not be anything happen with my clothes on but I believe this might be a maniac side of myself.
And yeah I do choose toilets where I can be okey going naked.
YTA for blowing up over an easily preventable incident – next time, make sure the door is locked.
Lock the door. YTA
YTA,
Her house, her rules. Learn to lock the door. Also, why the hell would you ‘blow up’ with anger over something so non consequential?
But you go to the bathroom completely naked? 🤣🤣🤣
Sorry, that made me laugh. But lock the door next time.
lol I’m remembering being back in elementary school and seeing some kid get completely naked to use the urinal.
Lock the damn door.
YTA. And you know it OP. I absolutely agree with and understand your point… except it’s her home, and if that’s the way she holds, then you need to be prepared for those accidents.
Asking her to check more closely? Perfectly fine. Discussing it rationally? For sure. But you screamed at her for the way she lives in her home, and that’s absolutely A-holery.
What – you undress? George???
YTA, lock the door. It’s not hard.
Well, you certainly were TA for screaming at her. She however was TA for not apologizing for walking in on you.
Just be more careful in the future to make sure that the door is fully closed and locked.
Yes I think you’re the asshole in this situation. You didn’t need to blow up over this and yell at her, in her house. You’re the guest, they’ve taken you into their home, so you adapt to them, not the other way around. That you choose to undress wholly (as I understood but not really understand) is on you, and you were the one who didn’t lock the door. Where I come from, it isn’t customary to knock on these doors anyway, except if someone is taking a really long time or is crying inside, but that has another goal so it is not really comparable. Then, you put it on her, and she had reasonable arguments and questions why she did not knock, and you blew up on her. Why?
Apologise to your aunt and ask yourself, “how can I prevent blowing up over something like this in the future?”.
I mean I’m from a country where it’s polite to knock on a closed bathroom door to see if it’s occupied before entering. But I guess it’s different elsewhere.
That being said, now that you know, make sure the door is locked.
YTA for getting SO angry over something that is equally your fault, then demanding that she change her behavior in her home to accommodate your idiosyncosies.
YTA. It’s her home. It’s your responsibility to make sure the door is secured.
You need to apologize. If the door doesn’t lock securely you could ask if you can install a basic slide lock so this doesn’t happen in the future.