First some facts/context: Massive snow storm involving 22” of snow. Large Apartment complex located in a busy area next to another large complex, two schools, and the town forest with hiking trails.
I f(45)live in an Apartment complex with building blocks that are designated by the 100’s. So for example building 100, building 200, and etc all the way to building 1000. Each building has individual blocks that have their own locked entryway. So for example, the 900’s has 6 blocks with 12 units(Flats, Apartments, etc) in each.
This past weekend I was on the FB Buy Nothing Page, in which I am very active and regularly participate. I saw people asking for sleds. I had three sleds my son was no longer interested in using. So I replied to the 3 people asking for sleds saying I had 3 up for grabs. I said I was too busy dealing with shoveling out my car to drop off or meet with each interested person but I would leave all three out on the steps of my building block for whomever private messaged me for the address. First come first serve so take one or all, I won’t be able to babysit them and determine who gets which sled.
The next day a very aggressive note appeared on our main door. At first I was unsure which person with a baby had left the note because there are 3 with similar ages and I’m not sure how big or small a child needed to be to use a baby sled. I have since narrowed it down to one f(30ish) neighbor who I have been nothing but nice to since the beginning. I even gave her a tricycle for free just because her baby liked it (they were way too small to use it but I didn’t care). I had no ill intent and feel badly but also don’t think it was entirely my fault.
Visit Imgur for the notes.
https://imgur.com/a/qbl8Jbz
I am ok with being wrong so feel free to tear me a new one.
In her place I’d be pretty mad at you, even while understanding you didn’t intend to do anything wrong. Her property is missing because you essentially gave it away.
No, she didn’t. The owner of the red sled left it in a common area and ANYONE could have taken it.
Putting things outside in/near an apartment building and saying “just come get it, I won’t be there” is asking for problems like this.
YTA for that.
If you insist on doing an unattended pickup, put the stuff in a place that is well away from other people’s apartments/houses – by the dumpster, on the curb of the main road, etc. – so it’s clearly NOT anyone else’s property.
YTA. You can’t use shared spaces as giveaway spots, because it’s a shared space.
Your neighbour is overreacting, for sure. The police did not need to be called, but she has a point. This is a shared address. Inviting people to take things from the shared space is a ridiculous entitlement. We can try to qualify it all we want with “It was just a child’s sled” or similar downplaying, but in the end, your neighbours have a right to an expectation that people will not be invited to take things they find in the entryway.
>You can’t use shared spaces as giveaway spots, because it’s a shared space.
You’re confusing a shared space with an entry way to an apartment building. That’s not a shared space any more than the curb in between you and a neighbors house is. Leave something out in a public space like that and you’re asking for it to be taken.
She left a sled outside and it got stolen. Waaaaaaah.
I get that she’s upset and wants to blame someone. Whatever.
NTA. I don’t understand why she left her sled outside of the building instead of bringing it inside. People enter apartment buildings all the time—delivery people, visitors, Doordash, etc.
Can you just message the people you gave the address to and ask if they took it and ask them to return it? You don’t actually know if someone else in the building took it or if it was one of the people from your BN group.
I did that right away. The first person never responded to my initial invite and I’m not sure they ever even came, the second person said they didn’t have it, the 3rd person eventually responded that his 4yr old took it for his “baby” 2 yr old sister without the dad knowing. He would have replied right away but the youngest got sick and they never ended up using the sleds, thus he didn’t see the red one until he got my message a day or so later. He wanted to return it but couldn’t do so due to the sick child, so I arranged to have it picked up and brought back.
That’s good that he was honest about it. My local BN group is a really great group. I accidentally gave away the wrong size snow pants when my son was little. Picked them up and switched them out. Very nice lady. Glad you were able to work it out.
NTA it’s a fucking sled that she left outside and your notes were super kind and direct
NAH, but with your neighbor almost being TA.
You made a mistake, and her sled got taken when she left it outside. However, that honestly could have happened anyways, you just happened to increase the chances of it being taken. She shouldn’t have left it outside.
The people who are saying that you should have bought a replacement are mental. It wasn’t directly your fault, and it’s now being returned. Not sure what to say about your neighbor putting up signs to turn your other neighbors against you. That’s not great, but hopefully it blows over.
NTA. Your notice said the sleds would be out on the steps, which I presume is outside the building entrance and also sometime during the day. She left her sled in the entryway overnight, which sounds like it was inside of the entrance door, which would indicate someone living in the building took it, not someone responding to a free pickup thing. Which, turns out, a 4yo did. If hers was outside the entry door overnight, then yeah, I would not be surprised if it got stolen, the same as if you left a bike outside overnight.
Sounds like an honest misunderstanding. And if you leave stuff out there’s a risk it will be taken. You took the appropriate step of reaching out to get it returned, and it was. NTA.