I(21F) am friends with for the sake of their identities Sara and Daniel (21F 20M)in January Sara had made cookies for me and Daniel. Daniel joked that he didn’t feel like dropping them off to me since we all live like a 2-4 minute drive from eachother so I said he didn’t have to I could just walk to her house the next day since I was off work and she didn’t have anything going on either. Daniel leaves to get HIS cookies. All of a sudden Sara leaves voice call no explaination. Daniel drops off the cookies Sara made for me I noticed he already had a bit of an attitude I assumed it was because she asked him to drop my cookies off. But anyways he gets back home and even has a bit of an attitude with our friend I’ll say Harry. But we ignore it and hopped on marvel rivals. About 20 minutes pass and Sara calls me crying saying that Daniel drove to her house and screamed at her about a bunch of random stuff how she’s never there for him and doesn’t support him. He brought up the day prior when his PC stopped working and Sara and I continued to play games without him. Mind you she stayed on Face Time with him the whole night askingand checking on him. He never ONCE said he wanted us to stop playing or wait for him or anything!
She goes on about how he also said that he was mad she didn’t go to his house either that day (she had a valid reason why she COULDN’T go to his house her dogs are old and had been crapping and peeing uncontrollably so they needed to be watched while her parents and siblings were at someone’s birthday party.) in reply obviously I am furious that he did all this and came back to the game as if nothing ever happened at her house. I comforted her and told her that she is an amazing girlfriend who does so much and always supporting his antics when she doesn’t have to. I also said that she literally JUST MADE him cookies why is he being a jerk!?
My discord glitched and had me in two calls at once so I was in the phone with her while apparently still being in the other call with Daniel and my friends so he hears everything she said while on call with me. He leaves the voice chat with the friends and she shares her screen to me and he gives her a full on paragraph being pissed off about her coming to me about it, and upset that I was going to go over her house for the cookies because I was going to sleep over, and I DIDNT EVER SAY I WAS GOING TO SLEEP OVER.
He ends the paragraph with "Ive lost all respect for you". This had both of us in shock and we both obviously saw this as a break up text like that’s like saying "I’ve lost all feelings for you" no? She finally answers his call crying and saying "we are breaking up?" I ended up calling him telling him to fix his crapbefore I get involved. He shouts at me saying that he’s always in the wrong and she’s always in the right and he’s over it. I replied with "Maybe it’s because you’re ACTUALLY WRONG". They made up but I am still mad at him
AITA?
There’s no point remaining mad at him since your friend has already forgiven him for his childish behavior. All your anger is going to do is create a wedge between you and your friend since she’s more interested in being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect or value her than being in an actual healthy relationship.
I still love her and he gave an apology but he even got loud and aggressive while we were out today. I am not like evidently mad as of like acting strange around him but I am always on gaurd now
I guess it’s because I can’t fathom saying “I’ve lost all respect for you” but still date that person and even if he didn’t mean it why say that to hurt her. Funny thing is too I was friends with him first before I met her I def favor her over him but atp I am just like how long is he gonna keep giving these empty sorries to the point of where there is no return and I worry there isn’t a point of no return to her
Again, there really isn’t much you can do beyond voice your concerns to your friend and be there when you can. She has to decide she wants/deserves better for herself. It sucks but there it is.
I know I just wanna know is it bad that I don’t forgive him and I am still low-key upset with him for all of this
your friend is dating a guy who is abusive. Every time Sara complains about him, tell her she deserves someone who treats her better. Do not allow him to cut her off from you and her other friends. And do not try to convince her he is awful, tearing him down only helps him destroy her self confidence. your openings are when she is voicing her issues with him. build her up until she knows she can have better in her life. and learn to properly disconnect discord so you don’t broadcast private conversations.
Yeah…I found out it’s a glitch so I just gotta be careful. But yeah we went to go see return to silent hill I brought the tickets, the food, even brought her some nice stuff without asking her if she was going to pay ect I am trying to show her she deserves better by doing that myself (yes I am Bi but I have a boyfriend I am not trying to steal her from him but I am showing her HOW someone should be treating her)
That movie was a mistake but it made her laugh 😭
NTA, all you can do is to be there for her until she opens her eyes to what an asshole he is.
Thank you I just really wanted to know if my feelings towards this situation and my newer frustration with him is valid or not
Nta i would just ignore him In the future