I saw an old classmate from elementary and middle school out and about. We talked up about how he took his mother to Vegas for her birthday last month. I mentioned that my birthday is soon (02/02) and that I remembered his birthday (not the date, but I remembered he was born the Friday after I was born (also on a Friday).
He said I was creepy for remembering that. (Mind you, idk the date. I forgot the date off hand. It’s the 9th) but I said this, matter of factly, that I only remembered because it’s like when you lock in randomly in 5th period of 3rd grade and say like: I’m gonna remember this exact monument forever.
Or when you remember other unimportant details like your kindergarten teacher’s favorite coffee brand or season, but not your new PIN number for the ATM. Just the brain remembering everything except for what’s relevant.
Him: oh so my birthday isn’t important?
This is what kind of annoyed me and I just said: I’m sure it is to someone.
You weren’t being creepy—you were just explaining how memory works. Plenty of people remember random context without remembering exact dates.
His “oh so my birthday isn’t important?” was him getting defensive or joking badly, and your reply was blunt but not unfair. If anything, this was mild awkwardness, not you doing something wrong.
so it’s creepy that you remember it, but it should be important to you?
nta. honestly it sounds like he was looking for reasons to take offense. that, or he was negging you.
(taking it as read that if this were a lighthearted teasing conversation you wouldn’t take it to aita.)
I think it was just a bad attempt at humor on his part. Lots of guys don’t really have the tact for it and just end up coming off as offensive.
I checked your profile to see your gender (there’s a point to this) and some guys relentlessly tease women as a default. It’s not very attractive but it is what it is. He just seems kind of annoying so while that comment at the end was kind of mean, he kind of walked into it with his own teasing.
NTA. I think you spent way too much time trying to amuse this guy. I would have be delighted if someone from elementary school remembered my birthday after 20-30 years because of some silly mnemonic reason…
He sounds like he needs to lighten up. Don’t sweat it.
nta. buddy needs to get a grip. i remember like 10 birthdays from my childhood for similar reasons. it’s not that serious.
NAH, leaning NTA.
This reads like a misunderstanding that got awkward fast. You explained why you remembered the timing, not the date, and he jumped to taking it personal. Your reply was blunt, but it was also honest and not an attack.
Could you have softened it? Sure. But you did not insult him or say his birthday does not matter. He put that meaning on it. This feels more like social friction than anyone being an asshole.
I don’t think it’s creepy for you to remember a random schoolmate’s birthday. And why would his birthday be important to you? As far as you know, you’re complete strangers. His birthday is important to him, sure. But not to you. He’s being defensive for no reason. NTA
So either you’re creepy, or you’re a jerk for calling something unimportant. You just can’t win with this person. NTA.
You’re not weird for remembering but it is weird that you couldn’t piece together the date considering that you knew they were born the next week on the same day of the week, which would automatically make it 7 days more than yours and easy to know without even having to think
I hope it’s not creepy to remember an old friends birthday. A friend from 5th grade has a birthday 1 month after mine. She moved away, we graduated different schools, in different states, FB came along and we are now FB Friends, but I’ve never forgotten her birthday. We are 55, until spring that is. Lol.
NAH – In OP’s position I would’ve thought the old school friend was just messing with me. Sure, calling the birthday “unimportant” is a bit clumsy, but it should be pretty obvious that if you were just school acquaintances and not close friends anymore, there’s no need to expect birthday wishes or get offended over it.
NAH
I’m in my mid 40s and I can remember the birthdays of a large number of my classmates who I didn’t even like. Because there was always something on the wall or a bulletin board that said everyone’s birthdays, and I was easily distracted, so I would read everything on the walls and eventually memorize it without even trying. It’s not that weird to have random facts memorized.
But I also think the classmate was just trying to be funny with his importance comment.
NTA.
Was this person insufferable back in school too?
NTA. This is one of the most bizarre interactions I’ve ever read.
Let’s recap his logic:
Remembering a random fact about him = “Creepy.”
Explaining that the fact is unimportant and random = “My birthday isn’t important?”
He basically set a trap for you and then got mad when you walked into it. He was looking for a reason to be offended.
Your final response, “I’m sure it is to someone,” is a work of art. It’s the most polite way to say “Your birthday is not important to me, a practical stranger, and you’re being ridiculous.” It was the perfect, surgical-grade comeback to an absurd accusation.