Me, (21F) and my partner (21M, "Connor") have been living with our close friend (20M, "John") for 5 months. When we all moved in together John knew he was moving in with our cat.
Shortly after moving in, John mentions casually how he wants a dog. He then proceeds to get a dog and tells us he will be here in a week. He didn’t consider asking us for our opinion even though it affects ALL of us.
John planned on taking the dog to work with him (He has a job that requires him to be away from home for 48 hours / a week.) He told us this plan but didn’t communicate with work and his job told him his dog can’t come with him. Now every time John goes to work, we are in the assumed position to care for and train HIS dog for ZERO compensation. Connor and I have agreed that John shouldn’t have a dog if he cannot be around 24/7 to take care of him.
Let’s also consider:
\- John never asked us to become caretakers of the dog when he is at work for zero pay. He has paid me $10
once. (For cleaning up dog’s chocolate liquid sick 3 times while at work. Each time took 2+ hours)
\- Frequently leaves dog at home to hang out with friends then gets upset if the dog care is not up to his standard.
\- Inconsistent schedule for bathroom, dog has
FREQUENT accidents all over the apartment due to John not taking him out for hours (He is ABLE to take him out more.)
\- Inconsistent training for a breed that RELIES on consistent behavioral training. Dog is very reactive.
(Jumping on people, biting/eating EVERYTHING, constant barking when alone.)
\- Dog has separation anxiety causing destruction in his crate. The corner of carpet where the dog’s crate stays is COMPLETELY gone. (estimated 10in x 10in patch of carpet is missing from room.)
\- Dog "play fights" with our cat, pouncing on him, biting him, chasing and cornering him) No consistent training = dog continuing to harm our cat.
Our cat would "fight" back. He has since stopped fighting back and insisted on other stress relief. Cat now has been peeing outside of his litter box in the same spot for weeks (common area where dog will corner him. John INSISTS this reflects cat’s health problems and not stress caused by dog.) Connor and I have attempted multiple times to confront John on our problems with him and the dog. We have even stated multiple times that we CANNOT be his caretaker while he is at work. Here are some example responses:
\- Dog putting cat’s whole head in his mouth > John says that’s dog’s way of showing "love."
\- Dog continuously having accidents inside (even at 8 m/
o) > John says "Oh I JUST took him out." (Could be true or could’ve been 3 hours ago.)
\- Dog cornering & stressing cat out > John says "But the cat has many places to go to escape and be safe."
In the cases where John has agreed to change, we have seen minimal to no change. This has caused our mental health to decline. We are at the point where we might have to tell John that he needs to re-home his dog. AITA?
Rehome the roommate. NTA.
Tell john the dog goes, or they both go. A totally ridiculous and avoidable situation for someone you admit to only knowing 5 months!
Nta. Regardless of the cat, John is not ready to be a pet owner.
NTA!
I’d kick the roommate out at this point. You all have been way too accommodating of his poor choices. It’s not only affecting you and other roommate but the poor cat 🐱.
The dog and John both should rehome – but to separate homes. John (has no business caring for a dog and) is not ready for housemates.
Re-home yourselves. This isn’t going to work out.
NTA he is a horrible dog owner. If you can’t or won’t take the time to train and care for a dog then don’t get one. Full stop. Also, that dog’s behavior will kill your cat one day, intentionally or by accident, but it is likely to happen. Your cat is stressed to the max.
Does your apartment have any breed restrictions or number of animal restrictions that you could use to help get him to rehome his dog?
re-home john. he sounds like an awful roommate and neglectful pet owner at best
John sounds like a fucking asshole. He should move out and take his problem dog with him. NTA
John is an irresponsible owner and shouldn’t be an owner.
Tell him to rehome his dog (or rehome himself plus the dog), otherwise you’re calling your country’s equivalent to the RSPCA.
No one should get a dog if they a) are working away long hours and b) have no interest in cleaning up after/ training the dog.
NTA. Rehome John. What kind of roommate acquires a pet without asking and expects the other roommates to assume care? Check the laws in your area and serve John with a notice, or if he is on the lease talk with your landlord and ask him to evict John, or at least send him a letter that he has X days to move before eviction proceedings will begin.
NTA, obviously. But you would be TA to both your cat and yourselves if you don’t immediately put your foot down about this situation. Kick them out, like, yesterday.
Since there is property damage happening, and your roommate isn’t being reasonable, I’d probably send pics to the landlord and let them know what’s happening (puppy not being attended to, accidents and carpet damage, etc). If nothing else, just to cover your own ass as much as possible.
That way when going through the damages after move out, maybe the landlord is more likely to be lenient with you if you gave advanced notice and warning / expressed concern.
NTA, expecting your roommates (that you didn’t know before) to take care of your PUPPY is absolutely wild. Puppies are so. Much. Work.
You can’t bring an animal into a living situation unless ask are on board. He should rehome the dog while he’s still young so people have an easier time training and people live puppies.